Tesla Is Practically Giving Away Model Ys With Absurd Financing And Lease Deals To End The Year, But You Should Still Skip It

Tesla is clearly trying to boost its fourth-quarter deliveries before the year is out, and to do so, it's slapping some crazy deals on what might be the worst vehicle it makes other than the Cybertruck. The Austin, Texas-based automaker is now offering 0% APR financing deals on the Model Y Standard — its decontented and enshittened base version of the small crossover.

If you're really hankering for a Model Y with a small battery, a covered-up panoramic moonroof, a crappy stereo and a weird lighting setup, Tesla has the deal for you. The automaker is now offering 0% APR financing for 72 months to buyers with credit scores above 720. Monthly payments work out to $529 per month with $3,300 due at delivery. That is, admittedly, a screaming deal on a car with an MSRP of $41,630, including destination. It's incredibly rare to find free money these days.

Hell, even if you don't have an "excellent" credit score, APR rates aren't bad on this thing. 680-720 is a 0.99% APR, 640-679 is 1.99% and anything under 640 is still just 2.99%. Say you want to go with no money down, with excellent credit, well, that only brings the APR to 0.99% and raises your monthly payment to $592. Anyway you slice it, Tesla is trying to give its customers a good deal on this car. It's just too bad the car is booty cheeks.

There's a lot of hesitancy around buying a new EV, I get it. Because of that, folks turn to leasing, and Tesla is offering them a screaming deal, too. However, you can't lease the Standard for whatever reason. Now through the end of the year, Well-qualified customers with excellent credit can lease a new Model Y Premium Rear-Wheel Drive (the next rung up) for $449 per month for 36 months and zero dollars down. The only thing they'll have to pay is $1,145 at delivery, and that covers the first month's payment and a $695 acquisition fee. At the end of those two years, you'll have the option to buy the car outright for $28,756, not including taxes and fees.

Of course, it's a low-mileage lease, just 10,000 miles per year, but still — not too shabby. To be fair, Tesla keeps the same zero-down offer whether the lessee goes for a 24- or 36-month lease or they get 10, 12 or 15,000-mile limits. The only thing that changes is the monthly payment. All around, it's a solid deal if you don't mind driving a car that lets everyone know you're cool with what Elon Musk posted that day.

I know deals are good, and in a bubble, the Model Y (Standard not included) is a good car, but before you head to a Tesla dealer and slap some money down, take a scroll through Musk's feed and see if his values align with yours. If they do, go with God. If they don't, perhaps you should look elsewhere.