Ferrari Blesses Pope With Free Steering Wheel, Because Even Leo Can't Avoid Automakers And Their Merch

Ferrari didn't just reveal its first-ever five-seater and its first electric vehicle when it announced the $640,000 Luce on Monday. It was also arranged to have the Pope take a look and presumably give it his blessing. Apparently, Roman Catholicism is a big deal in the country that invented it or something? Confusing, I know. But did Ferrari then leave ole Leo with the keys to the new car they showed him? Of course not. What's the Pope going to do with an electric Ferrari? Instead, the Italian automaker gave him a free steering wheel "as tribute." Neat?

Some of you are probably too young to remember why Jalopnik doesn't drive Ferraris, but that just means you're one of today's lucky 10,000. Trust me, you're in for a treat. Anyway, even if Pope Leo's new Ferrari steering wheel is nicer than you could possibly imagine, it's still a steering wheel that's missing a car. Maybe he could put it in a shadow box and mount it on his wall? But what if it doesn't go with the rest of his decor? It probably clashes with any leftover parts from his old manual-transmission Ford Fusion. You don't want anything too matchy-matchy, but you have to assume he's already got plenty of Catholic stuff that's far more important than the steering wheel from a car that costs 10x more than a Hyundai Ioniq 5 N. 

Sadly, while I did find video of Pope Leo looking at the car, nothing I found included him sharing his thoughts on the car. He's seen it in person, and I never will, so I really would have appreciated a few opinions. I mean, he's the Pope, and lying is a sin, so anything he says has to be the truth. Is it good? Is it bad? I just want an unbiased opinion here because, personally, I'm still baffled. I'm sure it's a very nice steering wheel (not that I'll ever touch one), but these sort of Italian-car gifts seem a bit better suited to someone who's maybe, from Italy?

If, like me, you're a little confused why Ferrari gave the Pope a steering wheel, don't worry, I've got you. I've thought this one through and come up with the answer. The problem is, you naively assumed automakers exist to sell cars. In reality, automakers only sell cars to fund their true passion — giving away branded swag. They give away so much swag, in fact, that at this point in my life, I need to start making new friends, not because my current ones are abandoning me, but because I'm running out of people who will take all the car swag I don't toss or donate.

In a way, it's actually nice to learn I have something in common with a White Socks fan. Especially since that White Socks fan is the Pope, and there's no reason we should have the same problems. He's one of the most important people in the world, and when he speaks, Roman Catholics believe he speaks for God himself. I, on the other hand, am one of the least important bloggers on the internet. When I speak, most people correctly tune me out. And yet, here we are, both dealing with automakers who won't stop giving us branded swag.

Normally, this would be where I'd offer some advice to the new Pope, but reading through some of his more recent sermons and statements, it looks like he's already on the right track. Want hoity-toity automakers to leave you alone? Nothing is guaranteed, especially when you run a buff book like the Roman Catholic Church, but calling out Ferrari's customer base for causing most of the problems in the world is a pretty solid start. It might not be enough to completely cut off the flow of free swag, but it's a start.