Never Change, Infamous Car-Launching Speed Bumps In Fresno, Never Change

There's too much going on these days to keep track of everything, and if you're me, much of anything. But perhaps you remember this post from 2022 about a couple of speed bumps in Fresno, California, that drivers refuse to slow down for, with hilarious results. Or maybe you remember our follow-up that included even more videos. Well, CarScoops just wrote about them again, because the infamous speed humps are still there, drivers keep crashing, and the Speed Bump Olympics channel recently posted its 100th video. Good. I hope the Fresno speed bumps never change. 

It's been four years. Four years since Speed Bump Olympics posted its first video showing the consequences of negligent drivers speeding down their street. The speed humps don't move. They don't jump out to surprise anyone. They're clearly marked, and the street seems to be pretty well lit. They've been there this whole time, and somehow, the reckless speeders still haven't learned to pay attention, slow down, or even pick a different street that lacks any form of traffic-calming measures. Why should the city reward those people's dangerous driving habits by removing one or both of the speed humps?

It's a similar story with bike lanes. If bad drivers keep damaging their cars because they're bad drivers, that's not the safety infrastructure's fault. When you strap yourself behind the wheel of a 5,000-pound metal box on wheels, it's your responsibility to pay attention and know where your car is in the lane. Road signs aren't just fun pops of color that help make your drive less boring. The words printed on them mean things, and if you actually read those words, you'll always know where to slow down and why.

You could probably argue that emergency vehicles might need access to one of the houses on the street or may need the ability to speed through on their way to save someone's life. It's also plausible that one of the reckless drivers flying over the second speed hump could end up crashing into a house or hitting someone walking down the sidewalk. Maybe there's more the city could do to force negligent, distracted drivers to slow down before they get to the crashy bumps. All valid points.

If Fresno wanted to let its traffic engineers go wild and make it almost impossible to drive fast enough to launch your car off those bumps, you wouldn't hear any complaints from me. Just on principle, though, the infamous speed humps need to stay where they are. Do not, under any circumstances, give in, Fresno. Don't let a bunch of terrible drivers with a reckless disregard for others' safety win here. And definitely don't make it easier for anyone to speed down that street. That's how children get splattered.

A real country would probably yank these drivers' licenses and make them take public transit until their timeout is up, but this is America. Dangerous, negligent drivers rarely, if ever, face real consequences, and since so many people here hate trains and buses, what do you know, we just have to keep letting terrible drivers keep driving. It seems like everywhere you look in the U.S., terrible drivers just keep getting away with bad behavior. That's just the American way.