Every Ford X Original Grain Wristwatch Ranked (From Merely Ugly To Unwearably Awful)

I may have quit drinking a while ago, but a Coors Edge man is still a Coors man, and every now and then, I check the website for sales on a few apparel items I want but don't need. Sadly, as of this morning, the Banquet Golden Tee was once again selling for full price, but you know what was on sale? This ugly-ass Coors watch. Fast forward a bit, and that path I led myself down, my friends, is how I also learned that same company, Original Grain, also sells seven officially licensed Ford watches to go with your new F-150-branded Timberlands. 

If you know a Ford fan who could use a new watch, it probably sounds like Christmas is already handled, even though it's only March. The problem is, every single one of the seven Ford-branded watches that Original Grain sells are also hideous and far too expensive to buy just for the bit. It certainly wouldn't be the first time someone charged too much for a car-themed watch, but trust me when I tell you that the $1,150 Seiko Datsun 240Z watch is a far better use of your money than this $399 Ford F-150-branded pocket watch.

As far as I know, the Seiko is 0% wood, while wooden watches are pretty much Original Grain's whole thing, so if you specifically want a wooden watch, the Seiko's metal design can't compete. In 10 years, though, the Seiko will probably still run perfectly and retain at least some of its value, whereas the OG will have most likely been in a landfill for five years.

Still, we've got six Ford-branded wristwatches (plus the pocket watch that I won't include), and every single one gives me the ick. Clearly, my only option here is to rank all of them, from merely ugly to unwearably awful.

Even if I wanted to wear the Barrel Chrono, I couldn't, because it's far too big for my dainty little wrists. The dial itself is 45mm across, which is huge as far as wristwatches go, and that's even before you account for the lugs. You're going to need a big wrist to pull this one off, but I also can't tell you exactly how big a wrist you'd need, because Original Grain doesn't publish the lug-to-lug length. 

The case finishing also makes photos of the watch look weirdly low-res, but as long as the Barrel Chrono is the right size for your wrist, you could do a lot worse. The wood accents kind of work here, and the dial is at least clean enough that you can tell what time it is without squinting. Plus, since it's car-themed, the chronograph complication is appropriate for car and watch enthusiast crossover, even if you probably won't ever use it to actually time laps around a race track. 

Because it's so big, this watch won't fit most people, but the overall design doesn't immediately make me want to do crimes, and that's enough to put it in sixth place as, ironically, the least unwearable watches in the lineup.

Unlike the obnoxiously large Barrel Chrono, the Vintage Gold Automatic's case measures 40mm, a size that those of us with the horological sickness would refer to as "a perfectly normal size." You also get a cheap Miyota automatic mechanical movement, which makes it a little more interesting than the last watch we looked at. It's also priced the same as the chrono at $399, arguably making this one more desirable, at least on paper. 

The problem is that when you combine the wooden dial with the black hands, it makes it harder to read the time. With gold, wood, black, and silver all used together, there's also a lot going on visually. I also hate open-heart designs, but that's just a personal opinion, and you're more than welcome to tell me I'm wrong. 

Most importantly, though, if you bought the Barrel Chrono (which you should not), the Ford logo on the dial makes it clear to everyone that you finally got the Ford watch you'd been wanting. Meanwhile, the Vintage Gold Automatic has "Ford Motor Company" written in a tiny cursive script that absolutely no one is ever going to notice. If you're overpaying for a Ford-branded watch, wouldn't you want more prominent Ford branding on the dial? Otherwise, why not buy a cheaper, better watch?

Like the Barrel Chrono, the Western Mechanical Chrono has a dial that actually allows you to read the time, which you would think would be damning these watches with faint praise, but as you'll soon see, that's definitely not the case. The wooden bezel and bracelet accents also work better than many of Original Grain's more wood-forward designs, and it never hurts to retain the chronograph function. Oh, and at 44 mm, it's ever so slightly smaller than the Barrel Chrono.

The etching on the case and bracelet is going to turn a lot of people off, though, as will the fact that 44mm is still way too big for most wrists. Add in the lugs, and I'd also be willing to bet this watch wears even larger than the Barrel Chrono. But again, I can't share that measurement with you because Original Grain doesn't think the most important spec for watch sizing is worth publishing.

Unlike the Vintage Gold Automatic, the Western Mechanical Chrono uses a cheap Seagull automatic movement, which means it will be far less accurate, while also being less reliable. The Western Mechanical Chrono is currently listed at $549, which is more than enough to buy a different watch that's actually worth owning.

After spending way too long trying to figure out which watch deserved second place and which one deserved third, I gave up and decided to just say they tied. Neither watch is good, but they're also bad for such different reasons, so it's hard to pick. The Heritage Automatic 44mm is huge, and the dial is beyond busy thanks to the skeletonized dial. The contrast on the hands helps legibility, but not by much, and the Seagull movement is more for looking upmarket than an actual upmarket move. 

Original Grain

Then there's the Barrel 46mm, which should be easier to read but, as the name suggests, clocks in at a truly massive 46mm. For comparison, that's 11mm more case than my smallest watch, and even though it looks like they tried to keep the lug-to-lug length in check, we're still talking about a seriously big boy. I also just don't like the wood stripe in the middle of the dial, nor do I like the way they integrated the F-150 text. But at least you don't have to worry about anyone thinking you drive a Chevrolet. 

Oh man, where do I even begin with this one? I have to come up with something positive to say, but I'm striking out here. The 40mm case size is good? I do like a small seconds complication, so I guess that's a second nice thing I can say about this watch. Oh, and I hate it a lot less at $299 than I would at a higher price. 

I can't compliment the case size too much, though, because those lugs are going to make it wear way bigger than the case measurement would suggest. I don't particularly like the wood they used, the skeletonized dial is super busy, and the Ford script at 10:30 gives me Ed Hardy vibes for reasons I can't fully explain. Everywhere you went with this watch, people would be bending over backward to find ways to charge you extra, because this watch just screams, "I'm a sucker and will fall for literally anything you tell me."

If you're normal and don't closely follow the watch market, it can be hard to understand just how easy it is to find a much better watch with a much better movement for similar (or even less) money than these choices. But I promise they're out there. You don't need Rolex money to get a good watch, but please skip these Ford x Original Grain collabs. Partly because they're a bad value, but mostly because they're all ugly as hell.