What's The Sluttiest Car?

It may sound weird to normal people with normal hobbies, but different cars have different personalities. A Mini Cooper is cute and fun. A BMW M3 is focused and serious. A Jeep Wrangler is outdoorsy and adventurous. And even though normal people may not think about cars quite the same way enthusiasts do, they still get it on some level. After all, plenty of non-enthusiasts name their cars, and what personifies a car more than giving it a human name? 

Once you start personifying cars, though, it raises other potential questions. Which car would make the worst father? Which truck leaves the worst tips at restaurants? Which vehicle is afraid that taking a train might turn it gay? The answer to all of those questions is, of course, the Tesla Cybertruck, but something tells me you already knew where I was going with that, because duh. 

Were Jalopnik a more serious blog, I might pose less loaded questions, but hey, it's not my fault Tesla built a truck specifically marketed at the worst people you've ever met. Just like it's not my fault that Tesla's CEO is busy calling the EU the Fourth Reich. But that does lead me to a question that the Cybertruck definitely isn't the answer to: Which car is the sluttiest? 

Now, before we get too far, I need to be clear that we aren't making any moral judgments here. Some people stick to one partner for life. Others date around. Some people enjoy hookups. Other people prefer not to have sex at all. Ultimately, a body count is just a number that doesn't really mean anything — unless that number is zero, and you aren't asexual, in which case, I don't know what to tell you. Git gud? Skill issue? 

But back to the question at hand. If cars were people, which car would get laid the most? It feels like the Dodge Charger would love for you to think it's the answer, but I also think we all know that's all talk. The Dodge Charger brags about all the Tinder matches it gets, even though you both know it rarely ever closes the deal, before going on a rant about how "females" these days are all spoiled man-haters who are out to scam men out of free meals. 

No, if I were a betting man, I'd put my money on the Aston Martin Vanquish, although I'm pretty sure most of the top spots are taken by other Aston Martin models. It has looks. It has money. It has a V12 under the hood. And even people who think supercars are douchey still like the Vanquish thanks to the James Bond connection. But it also has a chip on its shoulder because it lacks the prestige of a true exotic and copes by banging everyone it can. A lot of other cars get laid, but the Vanquish feels like it's convinced being a ladies' man is all it has. Especially as it gets older and has to convince itself that whiskey dick is an age issue and not a sign of a drinking problem. 

What about you, though? What car do you think gets laid the most? Am I wrong about the Aston Martin Vanquish? Let us know down in the comments.