These Are The Buttons You Would Magically Add To Your Cars

Last week I asked you to get a bit creative and imagine magically adding a physical button to your car that could perform any function, and our dear audience came up with a bunch of great ideas. If you'd like to, I implore you to go back and read through the answers that didn't make this roundup, as there were lots of very fanciful answers. 

I said I'd want a button that turns my 2017 Mini Cooper S four-door hardtop into a convertible, since convertibles are clearly the superior automotive body style. At least to me, a native Angeleno who's fond of letting the outdoors indoors. I could've bought a Mini Cooper Convertible, but my 99th-percentile height (I'm 6-foot-8) means the stretched wheelbase of my four-door Cooper S serves me better than a two-door retractable roof. But enough about me, we're here to celebrate you, the reader. These are a few of my favorite answers.

A stay-out-of-my-lane button. As most who like driving, its the other people on the road that tend to ruin it. Since the question was for a 'magical button'... that would suffice.

Submitted by: Not Me

Both of my newer German cars feature huge infotainment screens with iPad resolution. Vast computer power is on tap. Yet when something important goes wrong under the hood, I get a tiny "Check Engine" light, no different from my Dad's 1984 Pontiac Parisienne, and just as cryptic. I want to press a button and comprehensive diagnostic data appears on the screen. And not just a code, "PO446." Tell me what it means, the likely cause, and what to troubleshoot. A button that does this is not a moonshot for automobile technology, folks.

Submitted by: JohnOfAllCars

I don't care what the magic button does, as long as it's a physical magic button and not a virtual button embedded 4 submenus deep on a touchscreen console that takes up 60% of my dashboard. I take that back: I want a magic button that turns all virtual buttons into physical ones.

Submitted by: Wretched_Genius

Nannies Off, with a menu check list for what systems should be included. Some folks have different definitions for what constitutes a "Nanny" feature, so it should be adjustable. And it should be consistent across restarts.

Submitted by: Chase

Reverse ultra-high beams for the jag rags who flash their LED high beams behind me to blind me through the rearview. Turnabout is fair play.

Submitted by: Alf Enthusiast

coffee dispenser. Just press a button on the wheel and my cup in the cup holder is filled up with a steaming cup of joe.

Submitted by: JaredOfLondon

I want one that raises the vehicle up from all four wheels as high as you'd lift it with a jack to check under it or work on it. And the car would not be able to shift out of park unless you lowered it back down to normal driving height.

Submitted by: Jed Groettum

A button that would flash a sign that says either "Thanks" or "Sorry" depending on the circumstance

Submitted by: ddc

A button that immediately teleports any nearby lurking highway patrol back to their station. Because FTP, but also the presence of highway patrol makes people nervous and slows down the ENTIRE flow of traffic. But also the button would double to summon a highway patrol officer on a long-press, for those cases where someone is driving erratically and putting everyone around them in danger.

Submitted by: MrMcGeeIn3D

Red turtle shell launch.

Submitted by: Winter Cat

Greenlightgreenlightgreenlightgreenlightgreenlightgreenlightgreenlight...and so on.

Submitted by: Xavier96

It would send a jamming signal to disable all cell phones and other signals to all vehicles within a 1 mile distance from my car. People would have to pay attention to driving the car instead of being distracted with text, talk, sharing photos, posting on facebook, etc.

Submitted by: Tex