Kristi Noem's Luxurious $70 Million Deportation Plane Sure Doesn't Look Like It Was Designed With Deportations In Mind

If you believe the Republicans in charge, the Department of Homeland Security desperately needs to buy some planes if it wants to keep up with Stephen Miller's demands for more deportations. Allegedly, charters are cheaper than military flights, but the real savings will come from buying eight planes dedicated exclusively to shipping as many people as possible off to foreign prisons without any trials. And yet, for some reason, NBC News reports that one of the planes that DHS has already leased — and plans to eventually buy for $70 million — is an ultra-luxurious Boeing 737 complete with private bedrooms, showers, a bar, and multiple bidets.

That's a bit of an odd choice for a plane meant to shuttle detainees from the torture dungeons we keep them in here to the foreign torture dungeons where they'll eventually die. But don't worry, it will all make sense when you learn that Immigrations and Custom Enforcement also plans to use it for super-important Cabinet-level travel. And, obviously, you can't expect Kristi Noem to travel like a common peasant, can you? That would just be insulting. Clearly she needs an ultra-luxury aircraft that can comfortably sleep 14 people and features an "exceptional interior design by renowned New York designer Peter Marino" that "redefines luxury travel" according to a recent sales brochure.

Ultimately, though, it's about saving you, the taxpayer, more money. As one unnamed DHS spokesperson told NBC News:

This new plane will serve dual missions— both as ICE deportation flights and for cabinet level travel. This plane flies at 40% cheaper than what the military aircraft flies for ICE deportation flights—saving the American taxpayer hundreds of millions of dollars. This is part of Secretary Noem's broader efforts to clamp down on inefficiencies and save taxpayer dollars.

If you're still having a hard time seeing how a $70 million luxury jet with a retractable television will work as a deportation plane, don't worry, the DHS spokesperson has that covered, too, saying that "at least one of the bedrooms is currently being converted for seating to prepare the aircraft to meet the demands of its deportation mission set." See? There's literally nothing to worry about. Also, the biggest TV is only like 50 inches, which isn't even that big these days. 

Despite this plane so obviously being necessary to save the taxpayers money, NBC News reports that not everyone at DHS was on board with the purchase:

Some officials at ICE, which is under DHS, initially deemed the aircraft too luxurious in the way it was outfitted to be used for immigrant deportations, according to one of the officials. The request to purchase the jet has prompted some DHS officials to privately question whether it is a necessary expense to support President Donald Trump's mass deportations policy.

There also appear to be some questions about whether the plane will ever be used to ship human beings to foreign torture dungeons, despite it very clearly being designed for exactly that purpose. According to NBC News, "One of the two DHS officials involved in the purchase request called the idea of using the jet for immigrant deportations 'far-fetched,'" adding, "But that's what they're claiming."