At $15,000, Would You Go Full Men In Black With This 1982 Ford LTD?

The square-jawed styling of today's Nice Price or No Dice LTD stands in stark contrast to the slippery lines of the Taurus that would prowl Ford showrooms just four years down the line. With fewer than 6,900 miles on the clock, this LTD is not just old-school, it's a time capsule. Let's see what that might be worth.

In the 1980s, the fast-food chain Wendy's ran a funny TV ad promoting their "real" chicken sandwich over the processed you-don't-know-what-you're-eating chicken of the competition, using the catchy phrase, "parts is parts."

In the automotive world, having the right parts—or, at least, real parts—plays just as important a role as in the food biz. The 1965 Honda S600 roadster that came our way yesterday was touted as a project; however, most of you considered it a more appropriate parts car for a less daunting restoration candidate. That impression was somewhat spoiled by the car's not insubstantial $5,900 asking price, a fact reflected in the overwhelming 85% 'No Dice' loss that dollar amount endured.

Parsimony is rarely aspirational, but it is expected in broad-based applications and when pennies demand to be pinched. This is especially true in institutional operations, where pooled funds must cover basic needs and efforts, leaving anything more to feel unduly extravagant. That's why, save for the enduring edifices of our houses of governance, most of our social structures and services tend to be fairly bare bones. There's just something egalitarian about one-ply toilet paper.

Today's 1982 Ford LTD fits into that mold of purposeful but prudent, and looks as though it was just pulled from the parking garage of some public service motor pool. Wearing basic black over a "Midnight Blue" cloth and vinyl upholstered interior, this LTD is as no-nonsense as is mechanically possible. According to the Marti report provided by the offering dealer, the only options on the car are the 302 CID V8, full wheel covers, and air conditioning. Shoot, it's even limited to just an AM radio, and all four windows are hand-cranked.

While it may be a no-frills option, this Panther-platform Ford presents that parsimony in almost as-new condition. A clean title car with no apparent baggage or at-hand issues, this LTD shows a mere 6,875 miles on its odometer. It's also emblematic of its era. This model year had the honor of being the first for fuel injection to be offered on an LTD. That was limited to the mid-range 302, although, befitting its cheap seats outfitting, that appears not to have been optioned on this car. With its Motorcraft 7200 two-barrel carb, this year's 5.0 made a modest 132 horsepower and 236 pound-feet of torque. 

Also new this year was the standard fitting of the four-speed Automatic Overdrive across the board. That's noted on this car by the badges fitted to the front fenders. This is also the first year Ford chose to use the Blue Oval badge on an LTD; in previous years, it used FORD lettering.

The seller describes this LTD as "A TOTAL TIME CAPSULE THAT STILL LOOKS NEW," and claims that it "DRIVES EXCELLENT." The description is backed up by the photos. This Ford really looks like it just rolled off the assembly line at Ford's Oakville, Ontario plant. The only evidence of age and use is some minor abrading of the silver paint on the LTD logo molded into the right tail lamp and a bit of surface rust underneath. Everything else looks almost brand-spanking new.

Craigslist

According to the Marti report, this Ford was first sold in May 1982 (its build was just one month earlier) through a Ford dealer in Michigan. What happened to it in the intervening years, or how it now presents in Dorian Gray-esque fashion, goes unexplained. The more immediate question is what is there to be done with a car of this caliber (meaning modestly-equipped and arguably common) in the present day. Buying it and driving it in an effort to make up for lost time seems shameful, but on the other hand, it's not exactly something you'd stick in a museum despite this section's title. What would you do?

Before you answer that, let us consider this fabulously fastidious Ford's formidable $15,000 asking price. That same amount would buy you ten meals at René Redzepi's upcoming NOMA restaurant in Los Angeles, after which time you'd probably want to beg off fancy food for a year or more. For $15K, this Ford offers a far more perplexing proposition than an obscenely expensive attempt at grand guignol gluttony. What are we to make of it?

How do you find this Ford and that $15,000 asking price? Does that feel fair given the car's modest yet surprising presentation? Or is that out of line for an institutional effort?

You decide!

Flint, Michigan, Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Mark McIntosh for the hookup!

Help me out with Nice Price or No Dice. Contact me at robemslie@gmail.com and send a fixed-price tip. Remember to include your commenter handle.