Risk Of Dengue Fever Is Just Another Reason Cruises Suck

Watching a cruise ship come together is incredibly cool, but having to actually go out and cruise on one is another story entirely. Every cruise ship is a small tourist-trap city, packed to the brim with the most entitled and sunburned people you'll ever have the misfortune of meeting. And now, according to the Centers for Disease Control, the cruise experience is only getting better: A number of popular cruise destinations are facing outbreaks of dengue fever. Fun!

Dengue is far from the first disease outbreak we've seen around cruise ships — the Queen Mary 2 saw a norovirus outbreak already this year, after 2024's record number of shipborne stomach bugs — but this one is bigger than any one ship. The outbreak is hitting multiple continents, according to The Street, including Mexico, Panama, and Caribbean islands like Saint Lucia — some of the most popular ports for cruises out of the United States to visit. Cruise ships are packed with people, allowing diseases to spread and fester from bow to stern, and you want to go sail on one? On the boats where they'll put your corpse in a drink cooler to stop it stinking up the joint?

Dengue is a mosquito-borne illness, and mosquitos are famously capable of flight. Even if you stay on the ship at an affected port of call, its proximity to the shore could allow infected mosquitoes to make their way aboard and suckle at your sweet, sweet flesh — giving you headaches, fever, rashes, nausea, and vomiting in the process. Y'know where doesn't have dengue fever? Toronto! Go visit that on vacation. The food will almost certainly be better, and you can leave if you want. 

Not all major cruise locales are affected by this outbreak — Alaska, traditionally a popular destination, reportedly remains dengue-free — but there are enough ports besieged by infected mosquitoes that you should maybe reconsider your next cruise. Even if you're not bound for dengue territory, actually, you should probably reconsider. Why did you want to get stuck on a boat with a bunch of obnoxious people and their sticky children anyway?