Woo! Shitty Traffic!

Okay, so if you count Jalopnik's West Coast bureau and add in its various and sundry ex-girlfriends as Florida-style padding, we've lived in half of the nation's worst traffic cities. And we live in one now. Thankfully, we're in an oddly walkable part of Los Angeles, which leads us to heavy-heartedness when avoiding this blonde beggar woman who confronts us roughly a third of the time when we leave the bodega, asking in an innocent, almost shrill voice, "DO YOU HAVE A QUARTER?"
"No, sorry."
"DO YOU HAVE A CIGARETTE?"
"No, sorry."
We lie and turn away, even though we're almost always armed with quarters and cigarettes. But we feel sad because her eyes get so bright when she asks, and despite her forty-odd years on this planet, she reminds us of our friend's six-year-old daughter. And our heart breaks and we pray for the traffic to clear so we can make a break across Pacific. Because she never crosses Pacific, just wanders back and forth between the bar down the block and the bodega. See what you're missing when you drive in places like this? After the jump, how to avoid the unpleasant stuff entirely. Maybe.

Metro areas you should not move to:

1. Los Angeles, Long Beach, Santa Ana, Calif.
2. San Francisco, Oakland, Calif.
3. Washington, D.C.
4. Atlanta
5. Houston
6. Dallas, Fort Worth, Arlington, Tex.
7. Chicago.
8. Detroit
9. Riverside, San Bernardino, Calif.
9. Orlando, Fla.
11. San Jose, Calif.
12. San Diego

We'll throw Birmingham, Alabama in there too, as an unlucky 13. Just because we wanna give it shit.

Worst Cities for Traffic [Yahoo!]

Related:
How Los Angeles Keeps the Traffic Kind of Moving [Internal]