Who Gets On The Jalopnik Endurance Racing Team?

Al Navarro week marches on! In truth, we're still in recovery mode as his Slut Machine Question nearly broke our hit counter. As many of you know, Murilee and I are hard at AIM work on an entry for next year's 24 Hours of LeMons. And no, we are still not ready to tell you what we're working on. We will say that it involves death metal. Lots of death metal. Moving forward, here's what Al asks today:

Nick Denton has either a momentary lapse in reason or a stroke of genius
and decides to sponsor a Jalopnik team at LeMans 24 or Sebring 12.

Given what you know about the various editors and contributors, who gets the 3 driving slots? And more importantly, who gets the "Mad Max Papis" seat, you know, when they turn it over to you a few laps down with a few hours to go and you are supposed to make it close?

In reality, collectively, we have the skill to make it 87 feet in either race. And then explode. But, we like the spirit behind Al's Question, as navel gazing as it is. And we ain't saying a word, not a friggin' word. You?