Saturday DOTS-O-Rama, Tomsk Edition: Big Ol' Trucks

This is Down On The Street Bonus Edition, where we check out street-parked vehicles located in places other than the Island That Rust Forgot. We're continuing the Tomsk-O-Rama with a foursome of vintage Detroit pickups.

In Tomsk's words:

F250: The Ford F-Series has ruled the pickup roost for decades now, but how did it get there? This early- to mid-'70s F250 regular cab might offer some clues, including the most obvious of which is the fact it's still operational. The owner has added some wheels from a later F-Series, it appears everything else it wore back in the day, from the novelty mud flaps to the "Camper Special" badges are still in tact. And best of all? No cupholders in sight!

Suburban: This leviathan holds a special place in my heart, as my parents owned an '84 C20 'Burb for 15 years.While ours had a carbureted 454, the 1987 model year (which is what this is judging by the grille and the badge on the tailgate) marked the introduction of EFI. Regardless of what's under the hood, I feel this generation of Suburbans has a certain romance about it, as it was the last of the line that wasn't found in 70% of suburban (See what I did there?) driveways and driven by spraytanned MILFs who wanted something that would keep their 2.5 brats safe in a collision with anything smaller than a Peterbilt and let them (literally) look down upon the other moms in Tauruses, Caravans and 5 Series Bimmers.

El Camino: Considering where tha Jalop's allegiances lie, I had to include at least one Elky, right? Well, here she is, the year conveniently identified by the license plate frames. With the IROC Camaro wheels, it's guaran-bleeping-teed to make your haircut at least 50% more business-like in the front and at least 75% more party-like in the back. How can you lose?

Ford F Series: Before Dearborn's medium-duty pickups were offered with such niceties as voice-activated infotainment systems, heated leather seats, integrated trailer brake controls and diesel engines with enough torque to puree diamonds, they looked a little something like this, because back in the days of Camelot and the Great Society, pickup buyers didn't know they needed such things.

Uh, they do need 'em, right?

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