Ok, screw this, I'll write my own Movie. OG Jalopstyle. We'll start with the opening chase scene (how the best car-action movies start) and then just make it up from there) Scene 1 Opening sequence starts out fast. We are given a view of the early morning Bay Area fog. A camera pans down a quiet open street in Alameda CA. We hear a distant, high-pitched rumble from the distance. The distinct squeal of tires is heard from with in the fog. Several blocks down from our perspective, a black Honda Civic drifts around the corner, driving flat out, hell bent on escaping whatever is chasing it. We hear the distinct roar of a V8. More tire squeal. A shiny, black El Camino SS roars around the corner. There are several men in the back equipped with assault-style weapons taking pop-shots at the Civic. Camera transitions to inside the Civic. We see a mid-aged gentleman, although he could also be described as a foxy minx, driving the car. Sweat drips from his brow. The camera flashes to his clutch as he downshifts to take a corner. Then we see him take a pull out of a bottle of Wild Turkey Brekfass Bourbon (Patent Pending) , then toss it in the back seat, like a boss. The camera pans to the back seat. We see a younger man, clearly of some Jewish decent, dark, jet-black hair and wearing a blood-stained, wrinkled suit. He is carrying a pair of shot-guns and returning fire (but missing) in the general direction of the El Camino. The civic is rattled with another hail-fire of bullets. The mysterous gunner in the back takes another hit, this time in the shoulder. The gruff driver asks "Do you need help, Jay?" he responds "No Hurilee, just get us the fu*k away from these guys! We must complete the mission! We must save Enzos! We must. . .cough, cough. . [Jay Vert passes out] "Lets get the hell out of here," says Hurilee, as he pulls a pin out of a grenade (with his teeth) tosses it out of the window, then takes another pull of Wild Turkey. "It looks like I'm in for one hell of a day. . ." The Camera pans into the El Camino. It's none other than Al Gore behind the wheel, with a look so serious that it could burn through a wall. He screams out the window "That's the last car you'll ever own, m*therf*ck*rs! Its bikes for everyone from now on!" The camera pans to the back. . We see that is really the former Mayor of London, Ken Linvingstone, Nancy Pelosi and Patrick Moore, Greenpeace's president. all evil laugh Clearly these enviro-mentalists are out to kill the Enzos, and ensure that there is no successor. A good start, I would think.
Comment(s)