COTD: Life's Rich Pageant Edition

Twenty-five years ago today the four men from Georgia known in every college campus as R.E.M. released "Life's Rich Pageant," an anniversary that can now be marked by purchasing the kind of corporate special-edition tokens that used to define the word "sellout," back when rock bands had a choice of whether to make money. The stunting of a similar special edition — Ferrari's choking of the New Stratos — led to several great comments, including Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged's inside the boardroom transcript:

Breaking news! This conversation was recorded during a Ferrari board meeting. As this was recorded audio only, the identity of each speaker is unknown. The transcript has been translated into English.

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Speaker 1: Hello, fellow board members. What is first on the agenda? Cars? How about pasta? I'm hungry.

Speaker 2: Agreed, sir. Pasta with a delightfully smooth tomato sauce would really appease my famished...

Speaker 3: Gentlemen! Friends. Let us get back to the task at hand, no? We need to lead this company with power and confidence to a glorious future!

Speaker 2: On empty stomachs?

Speaker 1: Hush, he is right. Let's see....oh, dear. What is this Stratos business? Some meddling man has tried to build an homage to the original. This says....blah blah blah...fast, beautiful.....blah blah blah....handles incredibly well....blah blah...thumbs up.

Speaker 3: It sounds...well....good!

Speaker 2: I don't like it.

Speaker 1: I don't either, and you know why? Because it's what our cars should have been like in the first place.

Speaker 3: Yes, but...

Speaker 1: Do you think we should let ourselves be upstaged by a rich German with some extra time on his hands? We're Ferrari! No one can improve upon our cars. We are the best, the finest, the purest!

Speaker 2: But he already did!

Speaker 1: Well....no matter. It ends now. No more shall be heard of this! We will end all support for this fiendishly good project. Ah, I feel more secure already.

Speaker 2: Me too!

Speaker 3: I'm glad that you solved that problem so quickly!

Speaker 1: Now, on to our own passion-filled, purebred driving machines! What's next on the agenda?

Speaker 2: Oh, let's discuss our four wheel drive hatchback!