Commenter Of The Day: Hoarding Edition

There are numerous things I've considered hoarding because one day they may disappear. I just bought a set of vintage, high-quality National Geographic maps. for instance. My dad likes to keep large glass tanks of spring water for hurricane season. It seems like you can never have enough tuna, toilet paper or prophylactics. One day I may considered about a dwindling number of good condition 240 wagons, but it seems like Craigslist is telling me I've got a while to wait. With Ford possibly killing Mercury, I wouldn't think to stock up on Mariners in the same way I've considered buying a G8 GXP, but Brachial_Plexus has some thoughts about who might.

MIAMI. The streets of the state of Florida have come alive with the announcement of the discontinuation of Ford's Mercury brand, as millions of octogenarians flock to their nearest Lincoln/Mercury dealers to stock up on Grand Marquises.

"I can't even drive anymore, but I'm buying a boatload to sell to the schmucks back at Shady Pines at 30% profit!" said 84 year old Sophia Petrillo.

It has been reported that if senior citizens were able to use the internet, a Grand Marquis would have sold at more than $40,000 over sticker price.

The absolutely expected news of Mercury's demise comes on the heels of Oldsmobile's death 10 years ago, Cadillac's discontinuation of its DTS last year, Buick's recent announcement that it would "no longer be crappy," and Ford's discontinuation of its Crown Victoria and Lincoln Town Car.

Troubled automaker Toyota also announced that it is ramping up production of its Avalon sedan. Its advertising budget has been increased as well, with several new commercials featuring a 1940s vibe, to better appeal to its target demographic; a group that actually remembers trains and mainline propeller-powered airliners.

Yeah, plus Buick is getting way too young. They're targeting 60-year-olds!