Our Readers Came Up With These Honest Auto Company Slogans

Slogans are simple one-liners conceived to not only burrow themselves into the depths of your brain for the remainder of your existence, but to convince consumers to buy a product. From the golden arches of McDonald's to the automakers of Detroit, if you were to rattle around in your memory for a slogan or two, it's fairly guaranteed you'll remember some. Now ask yourself, do you think those slogans were entirely accurate?

My thoughts immediately go to some of the slogans from my youth. For instance, Mazda's "Zoom Zoom," which I lovingly associate with the Miata. Cadillac in the late '90s had the unfortunate Catera experiment with the tagline "The Caddy that zigs," but the Catera never really zigged, nor zagged, nor impressed much of anyone aside from a small subset of buyers who could say "I own a Cadillac" thanks to its affordability.

So, what if we created more honest slogans for these carmakers? I asked you over the weekend to comment with your best pitches and friends, I had some good laughs while compiling the best below. I hope you enjoy them as much as we did.

DODGE: Forget the alimony payment. You need a Hemi.

AND

Dodge: Every law is only a suggestion.

From Gordon S. and ColoradoOnTheFly

FORD: "We love our cars so much we call them back everyday."

AND

Ford: (slogan recalled)

AND

Ford – Quality is a job. ... Just not ours

AND

Ford: Ready. Set. Recall.

From Michael, Winter Cat, combined JBodyBuilder with MyKinjaHandleWontFit, and Michael Eldridge

Jaguar. We do hope you enjoy your loaner.

From GreySpace

Mazda: When you want to show you know cars better than your neighbor, but can't afford a Porsche.

From potbellyjoe (and fully supported by multiple commenters)

Kia: You Can Always Trade Up Later.

From 05Train

Nissan: we accept combined credit scores!

AND

Nissan: When you really can't afford a new car.

AND

Nissan Altima: Infotainment comes pre-programmed with GPS located bail bondsmen near you!

From TheDuke, LBJsPNS, and Winter Cat

Stellantis: We've tried nothing, and we're still out of ideas.

From MrMcGeeIn3D

Toyota: Our cars might be over priced and under equipped. But they are reliable

AND

Toyota: Our cars might be over priced and under equipped. But they *were reliable 10 years ago....

Fixed.
Let's be real, they're still living off their decade old reliability, they're cranking out the same crap as everyone else these days.

AND

TOYOTA: Basic, but usually reliable (please don't look at the Tundra)

From Gerrit DeBoer, #Racecar, and Gordon S.

Chevy Trucks: We will run poorly for longer than anything else will run at all.

From Tahoe Guy

Slate: This is a truck for things

Check out slate.auto for accessory words to customize your slogan!

From Rick Bungiro

Mitsubishi: "We're still here! And we're just as surprised as you are!"

From carsten