French Cops Warn Drivers Drunk Deer Are Dangerous On The Road. Sober Deer Still OK

The arrival of spring here in the northern part of the U.S. is usually accompanied by crater-sized potholes that continue to grow sizably after the first thaw or large horny animals running with reckless abandon across the road to procreate. But there's a uniquely French hazard to drivers this time of year in wine country. Police are warning the public to keep a look out for that roadway menace, drunk deer.

As if drunk drivers weren't scary enough. The Saône-et-Loire Gendarmerie, the state police in Charnay-lès-Mâcon, France, posted the warning accompanied by a hilarious video of a drunken deer on Facebook last week.The inebriated deer frolicked about in a field, then ran around in circles until it collapsed. And much like your drunk college friend after a fall at a party, the little guy stood back up and wobbled with each step as it tried to gather its bearings. At one point it stopped, and you can see his vision spinning because the deer's head tracks over and over again as it follows its spinning surroundings. Now imagine that guy stumbling in front of your Twingo, because chances are, he just might.

The warning in the post advised drivers that not all road users are sober and "Le danger traversée soudaine, trajectoire incohérente, immobilisation sur la chaussée, fuite désordonnée." Which is Frenchy for the danger is that deer are unpredictable around cars when drunk. Frankly, anyone who's driven through the woods at night know sober deer tend to have a "trajectoire incohérente" as well. 

Charnay-lès-Mâcon is located in French wine country, where authorities say something like this is a fairly normal occurrence in the spring season. The social explains the phenomenon. Animals eat buds, fermented fruits or decaying plants in the region that can apparently provide enough alcohol to get something like a deer good and drunk.

Eating berries to get drunk may seem a little outrageous for a deer that size, but size might not matter so much as it's likely their bodies just can't metabolize it well. Much like a lactose-intolerant human that lacks an enzyme to digest the sugar lactase, the New York Times said a study in 2020 showed many mammals lack an enzyme that quickly metabolizes ethanol. If your body can't break it down, your tolerance may be nonexistent.

So much like the need to avoid drunken people walking around in town or dodging them on the roads, French drivers are being asked to watch for drunken deer by staying vigilant on the road, and avoiding speeding through wooded areas in the meantime. The poorly translated English part of the post adds, "If Bambi has had a bit too much of that forest aperitif, now might not be the best time to drive as if you own the road." Honestly, it's good advice that could be applied to more than just potential situations involving drunken deer.