Bezos Is Ditching His Record-Breaking Mega Yacht Because It's Just Too Big

Hey, remember Amazon founder Jeff Bezos' record-breaking $500-million sailing yacht? The one he named Koru? Yes, the ship that created a minor international incident when it became clear the ship couldn't make it from the dockyard in the Neatherlands to the sea without dismantling a beloved bridge. The Dutch threatened to egg the monsterous piece of poor taste. That boat. Well, he doesn't want it anymore. Turns out, the world's largest sailing vessel is just too large, Page Six reports.

Koru is one of the largest sailing yachts in the world, and the largest that moves under sail only. After Bezos riled up the Dutch, he face a new round of headaches that only people with more money than should be humanly possible to accrue would face with their big-ass boats. The poor billionaire couldn't even dock his 417-foot yacht in the Florida Everglades, having been turned away from establishing its dominance via deck envy to be banished to park with the lowly class workers of oil tankers and real ships. How dare they.

In 2025, Koru again, couldn't join the other yachts in the marina to show off Bezos engorged riches at the motoring event of the year, the Monaco Grand Prix, because you guessed it, size. Same for his wedding to Lauren Sanchez in Italy. They just couldn't get it into the lagoon.

The ship that screams "I don't pay taxes" has been host to an apparent foam party post-Bezos Italian wedding, and a litany of celebrities who haven't been too shy to show they are comfortable with their alliance to the mega wealthy. The Koru can comfortably accommodate 18 passenger in its nine private rooms, plus 36 crew member crammed into quarters. And if it's not the company that has enraptured the visiting audience, the three jacuzzis and glass-bottomed pool might. 

A selling point for a potential buyer might also be the mermaid at the front done in the likeness of Sanchez so one can sport the pillar of filler for good luck on oceanic travels. There are also water cannons aboard Koru to repel pirates, paparazzi or Amazon delivery drivers looking for well-deserved revenge.  

And the super-sized yacht also has a $75 million support ship named the Abeona, which hosts the helicopter pad that wouldn't fit on Koru, though Page Six didn't get confirmation on whether it was part of the sale. Put the two together though, and expect to spend an easy $30 million a year to keep it running, according to the Robb Report. Psh, pocket change.

Trying to find another mega-wealthy person who wants a second-hand ship you can't even park in the best party spots in truly a top .01% problem. I hope it was worth angering all those Dutchmen, at least.