Toyota Corolla AE86, Hillman Minx, Mercedes-Benz C43 AMG: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

We're back, baby! Last time you heard from the Dopest Cars desk, we were freshly purchased by our new corporate overlords at Static Media, which allowed us our first slideshow-free installment since I took over the mantle from the great Mercedes Streeter. Then we got into the whole business of actually being bought out, switching up the website both for you and for us, and these hallowed pages were lost in the mix. 

Now, though, it's time to bring things back. I've missed this chance to hang out with you beautiful people each week, and to say whatever truly unhinged nonsense comes to my mind as I browse Facebook Marketplace for gold and garbage. Come along with me as we explore the best, worst, and weirdest that the internet has to offer, but remember that you can always submit suggestions of your own too — my email, adasilva@jalopnik.com, is always open to the cool stuff that's available near you. Now, with no further ado, let's dive in. 

It's my first Dopest in over a year, and if I didn't open it with an AE86 it would've been a secretive cry for help from my kidnappers' lair. Well, an 86 or a kei car. Or a motorcycle. Or a Datsun. I really have a type, huh? Cheap, Japanese-built, and of middling performance. 

Well, this particular AE86 may not be the cheapest. We live in a world where $15,000 is just what these '80s Corollas cost, which is wild, though this seller promises some money off if you bring your own wheels or seats. That might make you expect the seats and wheels to be something better than ripped-up reclining Recaros and a set of Rotas, but maybe the seller's attachment to them is more sentimental than fiscal. The seller also claims the car is "pretty rust free," and says the paint is just over 18 months old. I guess it was a hard 18 months. 

I'm on the record as saying this is my favorite generation of Mustang, despite having never driven one. Sure, you can argue it's just nostalgia for the Mustang of my childhood, but I think the New Edge really just nailed being smooth without looking too smooth. It's not fully blobby like the early SN95s, but it's not all squared-off like the SN197. The perfect middle ground. 

Beneath the gorgeous body, though, this New Edge Cobra does need some work. The seller says the supercharger "is making a noise not sure what it is," which is confidence-inspiring, and that the car "is not perfect does need a thermostat could use new rear brakes ... could use new tune as well." Also, the seller doesn't list it as a flaw, but it should be illegal to put a Borla exhaust on a Mustang. Get that off of there immediately, I'm begging you. 

Quad-spokes till I... duad-spokes? That saying really doesn't work with anything other than try-spokes, but I don't care because I love these wheels very much. They may be my favorite design feature of the first-generation FB RX-7, because the rest of the car just looks a little... ehh. It's not bad, it's just not particularly great either, especially when compared to the gorgeous FC and the incomparable FD. 

But, good luck getting either of those generations in this kind of condition for 10 grand. Scroll through the images on the listing here, and take a look at how clean this car is. Even the engine bay looks mint and immaculate! The seller says the only thing non-original is the radiator, and I trust anyone who bothers to point out a non-factory radiator to be knowledgeable about their car and up-to-date on maintenance. That's good for any used car, but especially for a rotary. 

Did you know Fiesta STs were getting this cheap? This was the car so good that car journalists were buying it ten years ago, and now you can get one for the price of something that costs $3,800. Some sort of fancy watch, or something. 

The seller of this FiST does say it has "typical fiesta rust," without actually posting images of any of the rust. I'm not seeing any from the exterior photos, but it's also worth noting that there are no photos on the passenger side at all. Still, for the price, you could cut out some floor and weld in some scrap metal. Patch it with a stolen road sign, that seems perfect for a bright green hot hatch. I'm going to start keeping my eye on these cars more, and see if they get cheap enough that I finally need to buy one. They're close. 

You don't see Minxes come up incredibly frequently on Marketplace, largely because who goes out of their way to buy and preserve a random British sedan? Well, your guess is as good as mine, because this one hasn't exactly been meaningfully preserved. The hood and body are rusting, the paint has clearly seen better days, and the ad is reproduced here in its entirety:

Very nice hillman runs and drive need little bodywork..call [hidden information]..

Not exactly the surfeit of info you'd expect to see from someone who's lovingly owned and cared for this car for decades. Is this a flipper? An inheritor? All I know is, the car is on Lawn Guyland, so expect the undercarriage to be an absolute nightmare of rust. New York is a tough place to keep a car in factory-fresh condition for the duration of a lease, let alone for 61 years. 

I'm in the market for a new motorcycle, and as a woman with my own fresh tattoo of the seventh shield it's very tempting to get a Kawasaki GPZ 750 turbo. It actually meets a few of my requirements for a new bike — fuel injected, four cylinder — but I don't think I'll end up with one. Probably. Might depend on whether any of these Yamaha R6 sellers email me back. 

If you want your own Nebraska-built bike, fastest in production as of 1985, this one's sitting in Maine. I've seen conflicting reports as to whether it was actually the fastest that year, but you could find out for $6,500 — or at least find out if it's faster than you're willing to take it yourself. Just needs some fresh gas and a new battery. And probably new tires. Might want to check out the bearings and fork seals too. 

C'mon, it wouldn't be my first Dopest back on the horse without a kei car, would it? And what a beautiful kei car it is! I honestly don't know the last time I saw a Beat on steelies, but I think they work surprisingly well with the design. Plus, those seats!

I can't legally register this gorgeous little Honda Beat in New York State, so I'm forced to pass the listing on to you. If any readers are lobbyists in the Empire State, though, please get Kathy Hochul to change that. I want a little kei truck so bad, and I will happily contribute financially to a lobbying cause that allows me to register one. My starting offer is $3, and I may even go as high as "all the cash in my purse after doing laundry today." That's a full $16.15 I can contribute towards getting a Honda Acty. 

I know this Forester XT trailer isn't a vehicle, but I couldn't see this listing and not share it with you. This FXT must have been in some genre of front-end wreck, because the seller appears to have taken everything from the firewall back and turned it into a trailer. And, yes, I mean everything — the seller claims everything from the rear seats to the electrics are present and accounted for. 

The only missing pieces are the front seats (fascinating and inexplicable), the radio, and of course the heat and air conditioning. The steering column is even included, if uninstalled, which does nothing to explain what happened to this Forester that justified its conversion into a trailer. Why was this made? Why do the windshield wipers still work? Why are the front seats gone, but the rear seats present? I have so many questions, and cannot conceive of the answers. 

We're all pretty familiar with miniature Jeeps, but usually they're little Barbie-branded plastic jobs meant for whipping around a backyard at ankle-endangering speeds. Tractor Supply, though, has apparently been selling something way cooler all this time. This one appears to be a full-fledged utility vehicle, with a snow plow the seller claims is ripped from a lawn mower. I know winter is starting to wrap up, but maybe you still have snow left to plow. My street certainly does. 

The seller says this Jeep will do 40 miles per hour, and the little truck apparently has a fresh clutch. I'm assuming that's the kind of centrifugal clutch you'd expect on a little 125cc like this, rather than something you'd see on a stick shift, given the Tractor Supply ad listing it as a "semi-automatic transmission with reverse." If this isn't the exact same model, it's something extremely similar. Even the steering wheel matches. 

The seller of this C43 AMG claims it's one of just about 500 cars ever brought to the United States. Rare or not, it's a very cool car with a ton of presence. I know we usually talk about cars from the '40s or the '60s being timeless, but I think this '99 sedan is right up there with them. It's 27 years old now, and it's still gorgeous. It may not carry the full weight of its original MSRP behind it any more, but it's still a presence out there on the road. 

And, of course, it's faster than most of those other timeless cars. Eight cylinders, a touch over 300 horsepower, and this one's tastefully lowered on some aftermarket springs. The seller even says it's had major service done recently, which is definitely not what everyone selling a German car says regardless of whether it's true or not. Look at those wheels, though! that front end!