Olympic Ski Jumpers Might Be Injecting Hyaluronic Acid Into Their Penises For Better Aerodynamics

The Winter Olympic Games would typically be the perfect opportunity to showcase the aerodynamic development crossover between motorsports and ice-sliding sports. However, ski jumpers decided to bulge their way into the conversation as the world converged on Milan. The World Anti-Doping Agency announced on Thursday that it could investigate allegations that ski jumpers are injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid to improve their aerodynamic profile. Yes, there's a competitive advantage in having a larger penis.

A ski jumper's entire body becomes an aero device when soaring over 425 feet through the air, so it's understandable that their bodies are tightly regulated. Before every season, officials from the International Ski Federation (FIS) stick each jumper into a 3D scanner in nothing but a pair of elastic, body-tight underwear. According to the BBC, these measurements dictate how large their competition suits can be, with male athletes getting an inch of tolerance around their crotch.

Anonymous sources told Bild, a German newspaper, that jumpers are using hyaluronic acid injections to gain up to an extra three-quarters of an inch in penis circumference. To put it simply, more girth means a larger suit. A larger suit means a larger surface area to generate lift. FIS stated that there hasn't been any evidence of this invasive technique, but it wouldn't be the first time that jumpers have tried to enlarge their crotches.

NASCAR is no stranger to gamesmanship around body shapes and officials relying on technology to catch cheaters. Stock cars might be far removed from their showroom counterparts, but teams are required to race with spec bodies. However, teams would manipulate bodywork to increase downforce and reduce drag. Previously, officials would drape a metal template over the car to verify compliance.

NASCAR's inspection technicians adopted a digital 3D mapping system, the optical scanning station, in 2018. The system consists of eight high-resolution projectors, 16 high-resolution cameras and five computers. That new technology hasn't discouraged teams from pushing the boundaries of the rules. One technician said that half of the teams fail inspection at least once every race weekend.

Back to the crotches of ski jumpers, the Norwegian team was caught cheating last year. ESPN reported that video evidence emerged of tampering with suits. Staff were secretly filmed illegally stitching an extra seam into suits the night before an event during the World Championships. FIS suspended the head coach and two other staff members for 18 months as a result. Olympic gold medalists Johann André Forfang and Marius Lindvik served three-month bans. We might be discussing small differences, but the consequences are massive at the Winter Olympics.