The 1986 Camaro Quadruplets Of Chevy "Exotica!"

There's nothing hotter than the '86 Camaro quadruplets — the Z28, the IROC-Z, the Sport Coupe and the Berlinetta — at least according to the above promotional vid from the General. Let's use our magical powers of hindsight and take a look through the haze of advertising history and try to parse some of the propaganda marketing:

Statement: "Z28, an exotic Camaro, that runs with some of the most advanced sports coupes in the world."
Retort: Seriously — exotic? We're not even touching that one yet. We've always thought an vehicle considered to be "advanced" is one without exposed wiring but I guess it depends on what GM meant by "most advanced sports coupes." If they're talking horsepower, we're just going to need to exclude any vehicle with an engine capable of hitting 220 hp. Actually, since it's the Z28 — let's lop the list off at any vehicle able to top a buck-ninety. If however they're talking about the ability to remove sections of your roof and store them in your trunk, then yeah — it's one advanced vehicle. Just ignore the water seeping in through the roof.

Statement: "Performance, powered by a gutsy five-liter V8 engine..."
Retort: Only if gutsy means "showing spirit" like a "Thomas The Tank Engine" story where Thomas tries really hard but still fails. If however the General meant gutsy in the usual definition — "courageous, bold, plucky, fearless, ballsy" — we're thinking that's not so much true.

Statement: "Dressed for action, with functional rear spoiler..."
Retort: Hmm...not sure...I feel like maybe we're missing something here...

Statement: "Held to the road with sport-tuned shocks and stabilizer bars..."
Retort: ...and there it is. If the Z28's gripping the road so well because of those sport-tuned shocks and stabilizer bars, with no mention of the rear spoiler — how exactly is it "functional" again?

Statement: "Z28, a designation you've probably seen many times...especially from the rear."
Retort: Well of course we have, because the back is where the party is, right?

Statement: "The Berlinetta, the most elegant of all Camaros..."
Retort: Well yeah, that's true — it is more elegant than all the rest. But hitting that bar's like showing up at a downriver fish fry in a tuxedo t-shirt.

Statement: "...proof positive that exotica wears a Chevy bowtie."
Retort: And speaking of tuxedo t-shirts and downriver, isn't "Exotica" a gentleman's club in Wyandotte?

So remember kids, don't believe everything you watch on YouTube.

Related:
What Flavor of Camaro Do You Want? [internal]