Please Buy F1 Driver Kevin Magnussen's Porsche 911 Turbo So I Don't Have To (Also I Can't Afford It Anyway)

N'er before has there been a more important task for the readers of this site, as I want—nay need—one of you to trade [many] monetary units for this 1978 Porsche 911 Turbo, once owned by Formula One racer Kevin Magnussen. I am a self-described Porsche fanatic, a racing fanatic, and direct descendant of a Dane myself. This should definitely be my car, but sadly I do not have enough monetary units to trade for such a thing. Therefore it is your duty to buy it in my stead. And this is why.

Of course you love the excitement of an extremely analog driving experience. The 911 Turbo hasn't earned a reputation as a "widowmaker" for nuthin'. With modern tires it's a much more docile experience, but it still takes a deft hand and quick reactions to get the best out of it. I'm appealing to your ego here. You are a talented enough driver to handle the 930. You may not be a Formula One driver, but you can handle his car.

Just look at this thing, it's gorgeous. Clearly it was restored correctly and properly with the utmost respect for the processes Porsche used when it was new. It took a few years to get the car back to new, and it appears that K Mags is the only person to drive it since it was finished, putting about 4000 kilometers on it this summer. It's still like-new. And shows it.

Obviously this was a European model with the Euro-only fender marker lights. It was delivered to its first owner in Germany before it was exported to the U.S. to spend a few years in Texas and Arizona. Those are dry states with no salt. That means the body was probably solid, even before the restoration. It was shipped over to Denmark in 2014 where the comprehensive, allegedly no-expense-spared, restoration began.

That's it, just look at it shine.

Oh yes, the whooosh. The lag. The slam-you-in-the-seat. The all-natural pops and crackles. Violence in the shape of a big metal snail.

Pinstriped like the classiest of European suit jackets. You want to sit in a European suit jacket, don't you? And they're the optional sport seats, so they'll hug you tight and close.

There is no sound like that of a turbocharged aircooled Porsche flat-six. The seller describes it as a "raw, deep, and almost growling sound" but it's more than that. It's so much more than that. You won't know what it's like until you've experienced it.

Please. Just please don't put me through the torture of seeing this car on the market anymore. I need it to be purchased by someone who will give it serious exercise at least once per week. If you buy this to chuck it into a climate controlled collection somewhere never again to see the light of day I swear to you I will hunt you down and violently avenge this violent car.

If you decide to heed my begging, you can see the full listing over at elferspot.com. The car is currently in Denmark, and the seller says Kevin Magnussen might drop by when you collect it. And he might have some F1 tickets for you.