Parking Lot Standoff Achieves Peak Pettiness
Lawrence, Kansas police recently responded to a "road rage" call that quickly revealed itself as a pointless parking lot standoff between two people too childish to move out of each other's way. The police department took to Twitter yesterday to describe the idiotic situation, and to dunk on the individuals involved.
The police in the home of the University of Kansas brought the memes in the amazing Twitter thread about the call that boiled down to just two people being really, really petty. The story begins with two police officers being dispatched to handle the dispute that occurred, according to local news channel Fox 4, on Wednesday:
So two officers get sent to a "road rage in progress" last night. Two unfortunate souls are dispatched to handle it. Keep in mind this is time they will never get back.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
When they arrive on the scene, which is a parking lot, the officers find a standoff in progress, except not the kind with guns, but one involving two drivers refusing to get out of one another's way.
The Lawrence Police is baffled:
Literally all they have to do is back up. Nay, all ONE OF THEM has to do is back up and the other one can go. By the time we arrive, the great parking lot standoff of 2019 has been going on at least 20 minutes.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
The PD gives the two drivers fake names, Karen and Chad. And upon talking with both of them, officers learn that even now that the situation has escalated to the point where police are present, neither will budge on this totally avoidable and silly predicament. "I got nowhere to go, I can just stay here all night," is a quote the Lawrence Police attributes to Chad:
Ok, let's try Karen. Maybe Karen can be reasonable. Karen, could you please just back up so Chad can go? "Nope, I'm not moving. He can move." pic.twitter.com/JK8nArbJrp
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Apparently Karen's excuse is that her car is too big and that she'd crash it if she backed up. Lawrence Police finds this excuse laughable. "Karen is driving a *mini*van. Mini is emphasized because the van is not particularly large," the tweet reads. "And if Karen can't back it up, maybe Karen should refrain from driving." That's cold.
So a sergeant shows up to get more information on this "road rage in progress" call and as soon as he finds out what the issue is nopes out of there like the day old donuts just got set out at the gas station.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
A sergeant from the police department apparently shows up, learns what's going on, and promptly gets the hell out of there. Chad still isn't budging, saying he'd sit there "all night if [he has] to":
Karen, sooo how's about you move your car now and we can move on with our night?
"WHY WONT YOU JUST MAKE HIM MOVE UGH THE POLICE SUCK" pic.twitter.com/7uJYjlmUuY
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Then, after talking with Karen, and being asked to force Chad to move, the Police say no-can-do, and eventually just do what the sergeant did, and bounce.
As far as we know, Chad and Karen are still sitting there. And so concludes the story of the most ridiculous call of 2019 (so far)
Fin.
— Lawrence Police (@LawrenceKS_PD) February 28, 2019
Karen and Chad could still be there in the parking lot, standing strong in their convictions. In their minds, they are heroes.
But only in their minds.