Citroën Jumpy, Renault Kangoo And Renault Trafic: These European Vans All Have Ridiculously Cute Names

In the U.S., cargo vans are a serious business. That's why they have serious names like Express, Econoline and ProMaster. Luckily for us, automakers in Europe took a lighter approach to naming their cargo vans, and it created some wonderful results.

There's a whole world of vans from companies Citroën, Renault, Vauxhall and Peugeot that we don't get over here, and it means we miss out on adorable names like Kangoo, Berlingo and Trafic (with one "f"). I don't know why these car makers have decided to bestow their work vans with such whimsical names, but I sure am glad they did.

I'll be so real, seeing these vans is one of my favorite parts of going to Europe. I always like seeing what sort of badge they've got on the back on them. The juxtaposition of them being some of the most practical vehicles in the world with some of the silliest names in the world just gets me, man. I don't know. Maybe I'm weird. You can't judge me.

Anyway, that's enough yapping. Start clicking to check out all of the fun and silly names that have been given to European cargo vans. If you're feeling frisky, let me know which is your favorite!

Berlingo is apparently some commune in Northern Italy, so I don't know why the French decided to call it that, but I jive with it. It's a great place to start our list.

You'll jumpy for joy when you see a Citroën Jumpy. This is exactly what I mean, folks, it's a silly name on a very serious vehicle.

Why call something the Ram ProMaster when its twin is called the Jumper? Do better, Ram.

The Dokker is apparently named after dock workers. I suppose Dacia is very in favor of the strike happening right now, then.

Why Fiat named its van the "double" is anyone's guess, since there's only one of them, but the Italians are always gonna do weird shit.

A scudo is apparently a gold or silver coin that was once used in Italy. I don't know what that has to do with a mid-sized van, but whatever.

Ducato is apparently the Italian work for "duchy" or "dukedom." Again, I don't know what this has to do with a van, but I'll take it over ProMaster.

God, Stellantis loves badge swapping. I guess you could say it does this... on the daily.

What is it combining? I don't know, and I don't think anyone else does either.

ANOTHER GODDAMN PROMASTER ARE WE BEING SERIOUS @STELLANTIS

Peugeot should have called it the Nerd, because if you're an expert in anything it immediately means you're a big nerd loser. Just look at me talking about cars.

Howdy, partner!

Kangoo is by far and away my favorite name on this list. What does it mean? Who came up with it? What is it supposed to express? Nobody knows the answers to any of these questions, so there is a great shroud of mystery surrounding an otherwise very normal van. It's fabulous.

Master is almost certainly the most serious name on this list. What exactly is this van the master of, anyway? Carrying shit? Its domain? Who can really say?

The Trafic, with one "f," is named for either "trade" or "traffic" depending on context. Whatever, you weird little French people.

Crafter? I hardly know her!