Deadline Looming For World's Most Butt-Itching Race: 24 Hours Of LeMons Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza!

You know what sounds like fun? Heading up to the howling icy winds fresh mountain breezes of the Sierra foothills on the day after Christmas, climbing into a heater- and glass-free "race car" you and your loser friends bashed together with duct tape and JB Weld, and battling your frozen fingers and 80 or so other disintegrating hoopties for $1500 in nickels and major bragging rights! Yes, we're talking about the 24 Hours Of LeMons Thunderhill race, otherwise known as LeMons Arse-Freeze-A-Palooza, and the deadline is looming rapidly: October 18. You'd have to be crazy to want to do this, so of course I'll be there with my Black Metal V8olvo teammates... and it's not too late for you to get in on the fun! Make the jump for the official info.

Let's face it: Nobody needs to risk life and limb driving some hooptie-ass car in a circle. Clearly, there's something about hassles and grief racers like. With that in mind, we're working hard to make LeMons' season finale at Thunderhill (on 27-28 December 2008) the World's Most Butt-Itching Car Race. Over the course of a single, self-flagellating weekend, you'll be able to: Make Your Marriage a Butt-Itch: Thought your spouse was already a crab during the Holidays? Wait'll snookums learns you'll be off to the track on the day after Christmas: You might as well put that divorce lawyer on speed-dial right now. Make Your Finances a Butt-Itch: Thought you'd fly out here on miles? Dream on, Wilbur: Between Christmas and New Year's, just getting a hammock slung under the wing will cost 8000 bucks. Make Pneumonia a Butt-Itch: Ever seen the ten-year almanac for Thunderhill in December? It reads like One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich: Year One: kinda cold Year Two: butt cold Year Three: snowy Year Four: decent Year Five: Admiral Byrd cold Year Six: cold Year Seven: decent, but only if your last name is "Uglook" Year Eight: foggy Year Nine: cold Year Ten: totally 100% nard-freezing I'm-Mister-Snow-Miser cold Make Some 500-Buck Rust-Clot a Mondo Gi-Normous Butt-Itch: Uh, actually, this part is just normal LeMons stuff. Just think: To achieve the same staggering level of butt-itch at home, you'd have to spend five hours at the DMV or 32 minutes inside a Home Depot. We're talking rake-down-the-trousers butt-itchiness here. What could a racer love more? Apply online by 18 October: There's no bigger butt-itch than being left out. Thanks much & hope to see you there—J