COTD: Growing Up With Every Racing Crash Edition

Having grown accustomed to the modern safety engineering of today's race cars, this excellent compilation of historical crashes by the Jalopy Journal hits several chords; it reminds us how rare it is for today's cars to go airborne, or spit fire, or throw out their drivers in most of today's crashes. It also puts an edge on the whole notion that racing improves everyday vehicles; there were real risks to life and limb to garner those extra few tenths. Which is why the idea of Ferrari putting a thumb on the accelerator resonates so, and why hoonthatsc's imagined conversations of Enzo Ferrari do as well:

Principal: "Hi, Mr. Enzo Ferrari, its great to finally meet you."

Enzo: "What is this about!? You told me nothing when you contacted me other than to force me up here on race-day."

P: "Well, sir, I unfortunately have to request that you stop sending Dino to tests and quizzes with a pre-printed answer sheet. The individual who grades the exams, he finds that its rather unfair to the rest of the class."

E: "Unfair? Unfair!? You know Dino is the best in his class! He is handsome, athletic, popular, wealthy, and has the voice of an angel! For what reason should I stop giving him the answer sheets?"

P: "Thats the thing, Dino could do fantastic on his own! He seems to be quite well put together. If you give him a chance to shine by himself, he will come out all the more stronger."

E: "Well.....How can you be so sure? I mean....he has had a few voice lessons....some plastic surgery.....ok, ok, maybe some steroids....."

P: "...........Are you suggesting that your son is....overhyped??"

E: "Well, How do you expect Dino to keep up with the likes of Ferrucio!? Ferry P.? Bruce M.?"

P: "Look. Ferrucio is a wild card. Hes down in detention for brawling with some of the other classmates. Whenever someone tries to interact with him, he grabs them by the scruff of the neck and never lets go. Hes just too damn....exhilarating"

E: "What about Ferry?"

P: " Ferry is sitting in his class right now in the back of the room, doing what he does, I dont know. All I know is that he does things legitimately, and even de-hypes himself before the test or athletic event. He always seems to come out on top though...."

*Awkward pause*

P: "And another thing. Why does Dino always say that the exam grader is now 'Cut off'? What does that mean?"

E: "You're cut off."

P: "What!?"

E: "No more exlcusive spots at my dinner parties that I throw for the staff at this school. You will have to dine on year old, outdated scraps that others give to you."

P: "But...."

*Door slams*