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Dan Neil
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Dan Neil Likes but not in Love with the Mercedes-Benz GL320 CDI
Full disclosure: I often find myself recommending the MB GL450 to my wealthier friends who ask about big SUVs. That overgrown puppy is one hell of a truck, even if you get to watch your average fuel economy decrease while idling (no really, it's true). Elegant, burly, hella capable and epically comfortable, the GL450's only flaws are embarrassingly terrible gas mileage (14 mpg around town going with the wind) and lofty price tag ($70,000 with the chimes and the catcalls). Realizing this, Big Daddy Daimler just unleashed a diesel version of their biggest 'Ute here in America which gets 36% better mileage. They think the price is fine where it is. Dan has mixed feelings:I started thinking about this on the drive in this morning, when I saw three GLs on the highway, each with one occupant and — as it happened — each occupant weighing approximately 110 pounds. And blond. What is it about Mercedes-Benz and blonds?More »
classic clarkson
Clarkson on the Dodge Grand Caravan
Some of you may remember Dan Neil's rather glowing review of the new Chrysler Town & Country Limited. You know, the one where he proclaims that a smart, sensible baby haulin' minivan makes him a total DILF. Well, Jeremy Clarkson is having none of it. Clarkson hauls his wife and three daughters to the great city of Ottawa where he rents a Dodge Grand Caravan. We should pause right here and explain that Jezza may very well have borrowed a 2004 Grand Caravan. We doubt he knows the difference. Truth is, we don't really care about Jeremy's take on a minivan. No, we're posting this because of his take on Canada:But by the same token no one in Canada ever wins on the horses, or escapes from a knife fight with their life, or has an orgasm. It is Switzerland with wheat.Damn skippy. [Times Online]
hoon of the day
Dan Neil Canes the Bentley Continental GT Speed
As some of you may or may not know, Dan Neil is the only human being in the entire history of earth to be awarded the Pulitzer Prize for automotive journalism — ever. Say what? Yeah, it's true. If you need to be reminded why, continue reading:Some may regard these marginal increases in performance metrics not worth the GT Speed's price premium ($199,990, $24,000 over the GT), but these people have tiny yachts you can't even land a helicopter on.Also, the above picture is Dan dressed as a mime. Say what? Well, you is gonna have to click on over to Mr. Neil's Rumble Seat column and watch the "disturbingly bizarre" Bentley/mime video for yourself. And even then you won't really get it. Did Dan really crack 180 mph in the 5,180 pound Bentley? According to the man himself, "faster." We're going to go cry ourselves to sleep on our puny little yacht.
question of the day
What's The Worst Car Of All Time?
OK smarty-pants— you dumped all over Dan Neil for being a communist, liberal elite, ivory tower, Jane Fonda French kissing, Volvo/Saab/Prius driving, latte-sipping, car-hating hippie socialist. Sure, he's dead wrong on the Rambo Lambo, but 49 out of 50 ain't bad. So now it's your turn. Show us what you got. Bonus points will be awarded for beating Dan's Cimarron write up ("Everything that was wrong, venal, lazy and mendacious about GM in the 1980s was crystallized in this flagrant insult to the good name and fine customers of Cadillac") and coming up with a viable worst 10 list. Super bonus points will be showered upon the individual who deems to bang out a 50 worst. My vote? See above. Good luck.
pebble beach concours
LA Times on Pebble Beach
Pal o' tha Jalop and Pulitzer thief Dan Neil is at Monterey with Joni Gray and blogging the whole big shebang. We've got a Johnson, a Bumbeck and a Kia and the rumble is on, in our own private Hooverville, children. Seriously, though, we loved Dan's Le Mans blog, and we're sure the LAT's coverage from Steinbeck country will be a wonderful kind of askew. Meanwhile, Joni's compiled great a list of things to do in Monterey when you're dead. Or rich. Or broke. We're serious. Cal Trask is up in your steez, stealing your strawberries. Get out here while the Salinas Valley still stands. [LA Times]
stealing coins off a dead man's eyes
Top to Bottom: Dan Neil on the 2008 Chrysler Sebring Convertible
In today's editon of the LA Times, Mr. Neil has channeled some tips for incoming Chrysler grand poobah Robert Nardelli through a review of the latest player in the long line of drop top Chrysler Sebrings. Nardelli's ability to tell the difference between a good car and a bad car might be what saves Chrysler from a world of hurts. According to Neil, the drop top is a bad car.Not just bad, but a veritable chalice of wretchedness, a rattling, thumping, lolling tragedy of a car, a summary indictment of Chrysler's recent management and its self-eradicating product planning, all cast in plastic worthy of a Chinese water pistol.We hope Nardelli can tell the difference between a hammer drill and a super soaker. [Top to Bottom via the LA Times]
jalopnik weekend
Dan Neil Live Blogging Le Mans
It's no secret that us Jalopniks heart Dan Neil. Obviously, he's a fantastic writer, a sharp dresser and takes down big prizes. Plus, like, you can't front on "spumy flinders," now can you? But, there's something else you may not know about Dan. He's a bolt counter. Yup, we've seen him in action. While everyone else is standing around listening to marketing nonsense spewed by desperate PR types, Danny boy is on his back underneath the car in question going, "Reverse L-shaped suspension beams, interesting." Which is why he is the only man capable of looking at the Hawaiian Tropic bikini babes not quite draping themselves all over Peugeot's 24-hour entry and accurately deduce that the #7 car is only good for 17-hours. No other auto-journo has them sorta skills. Us? We would have missed the car completely. Spumy flinders, indeed. (Hat tip to rpm968) More »
news
Spumy Flinders! Dan Neil on the 599 Fiorano
In the video accompanying his review of the Ferrari 599, Se or Neil mentions that in a past life as a rock writer, he once interviewed Anthrax. He then proceeded to call them numbskulls. How can the band that recorded Among the Living and Persistence of Time possibly be a group of numbskulls? True, they did also record Fistful of Metal, an album that featured the lines, "I got thunder in my hands! I'm Metal Thrashing Maaaaaaaaaaaad!" So he could be correct. Regardless, Neil posits that the Fiorano is simply the best front-engined sports car ever made; a calling it a machine that will blow your mind to "spumy flinders." You okay over there, Dan? More »
news
No Klingon Love Poetry: Dan Neil on the Toyota Yaris
Yes, us oldsters still read the newspaper. This largely due to the fact that time is indeed marching on. Holding onto a bit of previously read pulpy words and pictures while sweating away at the gym always seems like a practical use of what time is left. Fellow gym goers likely thought marbles had been permanently lost witnessing this blog goon laughing out loud while reading Neil's take on the cheapest and tiniest of the current Toyota fleet. Neil also riffs on Klingons, Frank Sinatra, and an troublesome echo from Detroit that may be bouncing back to haunt the perhaps soon-to-be numero uno automaker. More »
news
Dan Neil on the XKR
The most recent iteration of Jaguar's legendary XK line has been divisive at the very least. Some call it beautiful. Some cry "Ovoid Taurus" and others "carp." In his review of Jag's uprated GT car, Dan Neil admits to not being sure about the XK at first, but begins to warm to its design, commenting, "Maybe the effect is less aerodynamic than Jungian: This is the shape of a coveted thing slipping through your fingers." And while we argree that the 3/4 view of the car is quite nice, from head on, it still looks like a hip-hop-obsessed lamprey chugged a 40 of pure quinine. More »
retro
Motorwagen and Ramen
It may have only had .75hp. It may have sounded more like industrial equipment than what we know as an automobile. But Karl Benz' Motorwagen birthed and snuffed more nations than D.W. Griffith ever dreamed possible in a very short span of time. Meanwhile, Momofuko Ando who invented instant ramen — essentially the Kia Rio of foodstuffs — died Friday. However, college life will go on, and it's rather funny to see Dan Neil obliquely reference the danger of bits of a rotating assembly ending up in his colon while tooling around Pasadena dressed as a man who could conceivably own a penny farthing. Ah, history. More »
news
Choice Quotes From the Detroit Auto Show
Besides Thomas Weber's "Wee-Eight" comment, Mark Fields' description of Mercury as "Not Ford" and the apparent "I am going to cum all over you" line from Changfeng's Chairman Li, we only had Alan Mulally's "Ford blands" bit to keep us giggling. Let's just say Detroit didn't leave us with anything quite as golden as "ALUMINUM UND SHTEEL!" or "Your wife, my wife..." Regardless, there were a few gems that came to us away from the show floor. Transcribed verbal snapshots after the jump. More »
news
Der Auto Dom: Dan Neil On Germany's Shrines to Der Wagen
Our favorite Los Angeles-based auto writer trips across the pond and falls face first into a Hofbra haus fulla schnitzel. Or, more correctly, museums full of cars in the land that gave us the Karl Benz Motorwagen — a seminal invention that ultimately screwed the planet's pooch and/or freed us from our provincial moorings, liberating us to move about and kill each other with never-before precision. Which eventually led to the unfortunate never-before 1984 Chevy Corvette. Now go stop worrying and love the Neil. [Thanks to Doug for the tip.] More »
news
Mechanical Resonance: The Tesla Motors Press Intro, Complete With Governator
So we pulled out of San Pedro in the mid-afternoon to make sure we'd make it to Santa Monica Airport in time for the start of the Tesla Motors press intro. Rumors had flown back and forth as to whether or not the Tesla Roadster was simply a rebodied, rebadged Elise with an electric powertrain. The answer to that is slightly tricky — it is and it isn't. Click through for the full report. More »
news: test drives
Dan Neil Likes the Acura RDX, He Really Likes It
Dan Neil's back. Right, he never left physically, but if we're being honest (and we pretty much are), we'd been detecting a slight leak from his characteristic wit of late. If his Muse had left the building, she was only out for lattes (or a Double-Double with extra avocado). Neil's prosiness is back, and it's trained on the Acura MDX SUV, which he says, is "perfectly constructed, elegantly engineered and shamelessly underpriced." Acura's marketing speak-speak, on the other hand, is far less elegantly rendered.In fact, so smitten am I by this vehicle that I can only conclude I'm exactly the sort of person it was designed for. According to Acura's psychographic buyer's profile, I'm apparently what you call an "urban achiever." I'm edgy, competitive, and I work hard and play hard. During the weekdays I'm entertaining clients and impressing the boss. Weekends I enjoy an active lifestyle of dating, night life and mountain biking.More »
news: test drives
Dan Neil on the Lexus GS450h: Good News for Techies, Bad News for Golfers
This week, Dan Neil takes on hybrid doubters with a love letter to the Lexus GS450h, and a quick lesson on speaking in physics. Lest that intro sound as if we're challenging his objectivity, we ain't. Still, his usual gallons 'o prose does make us want to put foot to pedal.The GS450h is the neon-skinned, freeway-ventilating electric eel of midrange torque. Put the Wellie to this car at 80 mph and, before you can say, "Galvani, Volta, Faraday and Tesla," the Electro-Lex is humming along at 100 mph, shoved into crass illegality by its 197-horsepower monster-magnet motor. ... The GS450h has a direct linkage between the go pedal and the rear wheels. Nail the throttle and the car surges forward on electron-greased rails while the needle on the cool-metallic "kilowatt" gauge swings to over 250kW (max output of gas and electric power is 339 horsepower). Next stop, D sseldorf.He also confirms what we've heard about all that electric-ware reducing trunk space, but that's not nearly as much fun. More eel references please. [Thanks to Doug for the tip.] More »
news: test drives
Ugly, Ugly Evo: Dan Neil Drives the Mitsubishi, Insults Hippos
Consider yourself on notice, Mr. Neil. It's one thing to compare the Mitsubishi Evo MR's squat comport to a groundhog, but it's a whole 'nuther to point your fancy wordstick at a defenseless 500-lb child.The stubby and thick Evo MR, on the other hand, is more like a rocket-powered groundhog, or a baby hippo fired out of a cannon. Fast. Ugly.Still, ugly's not the whole story, says Neil. The top-of-the-mast Evo MR is also fast as hell, sticky in the corners, and costs close to $40,000. But boy, is it ugly.
On the outside, the Evo MR looks like it went into a performance parts store and got dressed in the dark.
That's ugly. More »
