GM Announces $5 billion in Additional Liquidity Enhancement Initiatives

DETROIT – General Motors Corp. (NYSE: GM) today announced it is taking further actions to improve liquidity and reduce structural cost in response to deteriorating global economic conditions, tight credit market conditions and a rapid retraction of sales in the auto industry.

“Volatility in the world’s financial markets, tightening of consumer and business credit and historically-low consumer confidence has created a very challenging environment ,” said Rick Wagoner, GM chairman and chief executive officer. “Given the current lack of credit availability we must take further difficult ‘self-help’ actions .”

Over the past several years, GM has been taking major actions to restructure its business and position it for long-term growth, making dramatic reductions in structural cost, revitalizing its product portfolio with award-winning vehicles, growing aggressively in emerging markets around the world and making demonstrable strides in advanced technology leadership (link to release).

As part of its ongoing restructuring, on July 15, 2008 GM outlined a number of initiatives aimed at improving liquidity by an estimated $15 billion through 2009. Those initiatives included internal operating actions within the company’s control that are estimated at $10 billion, asset sales estimated at $2-4 billion and capital market activities targeted at $2-3 billion (link to release).

To date, the $10 billion in internal operating actions have either been completed or are on track for full execution by the end of 2009.

GM’s assets currently being assessed for potential sale include the Hummer vehicle business and brand and its ACDelco all-makes aftermarket parts business, which has distribution channels in more than 100 countries. GM is also evaluating strategic options for its technical and manufacturing center in Strasbourg, France. GM is also analyzing other potential asset sales.

Despite the seizing up of the credit markets, GM completed some capital market transactions (link to release) in September to improve the company’s liquidity by $500 million by year-end 2009. While GM has unencumbered assets of more than $20 billion that it could potentially use as collateral for a secured debt offering, the U.S. credit markets remain inaccessible, and the contagion effect on other financial markets around the world provides limited alternatives. Accordingly, t he timing of the $2-3 billion of capital market financing GM initially targeted remains uncertain.

In light of the further deterioration in the U.S. auto market and continued turmoil in the global financial markets, GM is making downward revisions to its liquidity planning assumptions. For planning purposes, GM is assuming U.S. light industry sales volumes of 11.7 million units in 2009, and 12.7 million units in 2010. GM is also revising its average oil price estimates to range between $60-80 per barrel in 2009, and $100-$120 per barrel in 2010.

In addition to its previously announced liquidity and capacity actions, GM is taking further actions to improve liquidity by an incremental $5 billion by the end of 2009.

GM is reducing its capital spending for the calendar year 2009 from approximately $7.2 billion to $4.8 billion. The reductions will be achieved by retiming select vehicle programs in North America and Europe by three to 12 months, and deferring capacity expansion projects. Every automaker is having to adjust portfolios and spending plans to some degree, due to the rapidly changing business conditions and increasing challenging regulatory requirements. Lengthening product lifecycles is a common response to these pressures.

Although the timing of several vehicle programs will be revised, key product and technology programs remain on track. GM has a robust pipeline of competitive new vehicles over the next two years. In GM’s largest markets, U.S., China and Europe, 22 new vehicles will be launched in 2009, and 19 in 2010. In the U.S. alone, GM will launch 15 new vehicles through year-end 2010, 14 of which will be fuel-efficient cars or crossovers, including the Cadillac CTS wagon and SRX crossover, Chevrolet Camaro Coupe and Equinox crossover in 2009, and Saab 9-4x crossover, Chevrolet Cruze small car in 2010. Spending levels for the extended range electric Chevrolet Volt and other fuel-economy improvement initiatives to meet increasingly aggressive global fuel economy standards have been increased.

GM is also taking steps to reduce structural cost by an additional $1.5 billion. Actions being employed to achieve the savings include further reductions in sales promotion spending, further reductions in support of dealer network activities and channel consolidations, and further revisions to production scheduling reflective of depressed industry conditions. In response to declining demand, GM will re-rate operations at a number of operations in North America to scale back production, beginning in the first quarter of 2009.

GM also expects to make further reductions in engineering expense due to the aforementioned delays in capital spending. In addition, various types of discretionary spending, such as travel, use of consulting resources, and non-scheduled overtime for hourly and salaried employees, will also be restricted.

A number of working capital improvements, totaling approximately $500 million, are also being taken, including additional inventory reductions, with an emphasis on further cuts in components, buffer stocks and finished goods.

Measures are also being taken to further reduce salaried employment costs in the U.S. and Canada. The cost reduction target has been increased to approximately 30 percent, up from approximately 20 percent as announced on July 15. The reductions will be achieved with further contract and salaried headcount reductions by the recent over-achievement of the salaried window retirement goal, mutual separation programs, and if necessary, involuntary separations. Employment cash cost savings will also be achieved in Western Europe in 2009 as part of its necessary, broad-based labor cost reduction initiatives.

Salaried employees will not receive enhanced variable pay (incentive compensation) in 2009 for the 2008 performance period. GM had previously announced there would be no discretionary cash bonuses for 2008 for the company’s executive employees.

In addition, GM suspended the company match for the stock savings (401k) plan in the U.S., effective November 1, 2008, and matching contributions for tuition assistance and other reimbursement programs are being suspended effective January 1, 2009.

Even if GM implements the planned operating actions that are substantially within its control, GM's estimated liquidity during the remainder of 2008 will approach the minimum amount necessary to operate its business. Looking into the first two quarters of 2009, even with its planned actions, the company's estimated liquidity will fall significantly short of that amount unless economic and automotive industry conditions significantly improve, it receives substantial proceeds from asset sales, takes more aggressive working capital initiatives, gains access to capital markets and other private sources of funding, receives government funding under one or more current or future programs, or some combination of the foregoing. The success of GM's plans necessarily depends on other factors, including global economic conditions and the level of automotive sales, particularly in the United States and Western Europe.

Further detail on the additional liquidity actions and GM’s current liquidity position and outlook will be disclosed in a Form 8-K filing with the Securities and Exchange (SEC) later today.

GM has taken a host of aggressive “self help” actions to improve its business, but additional support from the U.S. government to aid the auto industry during this industry downturn is essential. The company has engaged in discussions with various U.S. federal government agencies and Congressional leaders about the important role that the domestic automotive industry plays in the U.S. economy, and the need for immediate government funding support given the economic and credit crisis and its impact on the industry, including consumers, dealers, suppliers and manufacturers. Many in the government have acknowledged the important role of the industry in the national economy and the discussions are ongoing; and at this point, their outcome cannot be predicated with certainty.

“These tough actions, though very difficult to make, demonstrate our commitment and determination to weather this economic downturn and emerge a stronger and more competitive company,” said Wagoner. “We remain focused on retaining our focus on product excellence and our commitment to advanced propulsion technology leadership and returning the business to profitability despite the current market conditions.”

Finally, GM has recently explored the possibility of a strategic acquisition that it believed would generate significant cost reduction synergies and substantially strengthen GM’s financial position in the medium and long term, while being neutral or modestly positive to cash flow even in the near term. While the acquisition could potentially have provided significant benefits, the company has concluded that it is more important at the present time to focus on its immediate liquidity challenges and, accordingly, considerations of such a transaction as a near-term priority have been set aside.

[Source: GM]

As promised a while back! Some shots of some Detroit steel as found on the streets of Gotland, Sweden....a great big island in the middle of the Baltic. Maybe there's something here you wanna post...maybe not.

Here's the shots of a god awful Hummer H2. Who in their right mind pays to gas that thing up at $10 + / gallon? I can't even imagine with all the great european cars out there. There's a word for it but I'll skip the potty mouth. Imagine that! I mean check out the freaking chromed machine gunnies on the hood (and note the playboy chick on the hood too!). And for the piece de resistance we have the American Flag door pulls....I risked life and limb getting that shot. Who knows where the muscle head was.....

And then this old Mustang fastback? 1974? 1975? I love the racing stripes and the rust....racing to its end!

And finally the Monte Carlo....huh???? I mean of ALL cars.....

[Hulu via Colbert Nation]

HUMMER SHOWS A TRIO OF H3-BASED CONCEPTS AND PROJECTS AT THE 2008 SEMA SHOW

LAS VEGAS – The desert surrounding Las Vegas has long been the inspiration of off-road enthusiasts. HUMMER is the ultimate expression of off-road capability and it comes to Vegas and the 2008 SEMA Show with a trio of special vehicles guaranteed to quicken the pulse of anyone whose vacation plans include destinations like Moab or Baja.

HUMMER introduces two concepts, a new, pre-runner-style H3T outfitted with a raft of performance and appearance accessories, and the H3 X Concept – a proposal for the ultimate H3 X. The third vehicle is a modified H3 Alpha that was built by Four Wheeler Magazine as an ongoing project detailed in several issues and online.

“HUMMER has always been about unmatched capability and that’s exactly what these concept vehicles deliver,” said James Taylor, HUMMER CEO. “More importantly, they are based in reality with mostly bolt-on components attainable by any enthusiast who wants them. They are more than concepts; they’re thought starters for enthusiasts who want to express themselves via their H3 or H3T.”

While none of these specialized HUMMERs is targeted for production, they incorporate Genuine HUMMER Accessories components and other aftermarket parts that are on the market today, allowing enthusiasts to replicate much the concept vehicles’ attitude and enhanced capability.

H3T Weekend Warrior
The H3T Weekend Warrior concept demonstrates the added extreme capability and functionality that can be accomplished with the H3T and a few weekends in the garage. Enhanced performance under the hood and from the suspension is due to the development work of HUMMER’s off-road engineers and the technology transfer from HUMMER’s championship-winning racing program.

Starting with a new H3T Alpha, engineers added nearly 70 horsepower to its 5.3L V-8 via components available through GM Performance Parts. They include LS2 cylinder heads (part number 12576063), a higher-lift camshaft (part number 12574519) and supporting components. Also enhancing performance is a custom, 3.5-inch exhaust system.

Taking a note from the playbook of the HUMMER stock-class race program, the H3T rides on 35-inch-tall BFGoodrich Baja T/A tires mounted on HUMMER Accessories 20-inch wheels. The concept also uses racing-proven stock and aftermarket suspension components, including Light Racing JounceShocks and 2-inch-diameter Rod Hall Racing piggyback reservoir-type performance shocks. The modified suspension improves the H3T’s inherent off-road capability, making it the ideal high-speed desert chase truck. There is also a set of high-performance disc brakes from DBA.

To complete a weekend desert-escape, the H3T carries a KTM 450 SX-F dirt bike mounted with the H3T’s cargo management system. The vehicle also wears other parts available from HUMMER Accessories that enhance function, including a bed extender and carry-off cargo boxes.

Additionally, the Baja Orange Metallic custom paint is highlighted by essential HUMMER accessories, including roof-mounted and grille-mounted off-road lamps, a body-color upper grille and custom hood graphics. The lower grille, mirror caps, door handles and fuel door have a satin-metal finish. Inside is a custom, black leather-trimmed cabin with orange accent stitching and carbon fiber instrument panel accents.

H3 X Concept
The HUMMER H3 X Alpha is a stylish and capable vehicle straight from the factory, but the H3 X Concept takes style and exclusivity to the next level. Production equipment includes bright roof crossbows; chrome fuel filler door, assist steps and brush guard; body-color grille and spare tire cover; 18-inch wheels and embroidered seat headrests.

The H3 X Concept builds on those features with the following:

* New 18-inch wheels with unique finish
* All-terrain 35-inch-tall tires
* Black chrome finish on exterior chrome components, including an exclusive black chrome hood louver
* Body-color rear bumper extensions
* Clear turn signal and side repeater lenses

The exterior is painted a distinctive Canyon Metallic color from PPG that is complemented brilliantly by the black chrome details and 18-inch wheels. The interior features black leather trim on the seats, console armrest, door armrests and shift knob that is accented with orange stitching. It also features custom mats with orange piping and a headrest DVD entertainment system that is available from HUMMER Accessories.

Powering the H3 X Concept is the Alpha model’s 5.3L V-8 engine that delivers 300 horsepower (224 kW) and 320 lb.-ft. of torque (434 Nm). It is partnered with a four-speed automatic transmission and enables great off-road driving control and a towing capacity of 6,000 pounds (2,721 kg) – enough to haul a trailer packed with a weekend’s worth of dirt bikes, camping gear and more.

H3 Alpha Four Wheeler Project Trailhugger
Partnering with HUMMER, Four Wheeler Magazine built an H3 Alpha with an all-business demeanor and greater off-road capability, while retaining daily-driver comfort and fuel economy.

The project, dubbed “Trailhugger,” started by “de-glossing” the H3. That entailed painting the chrome and bright trim flat black and modifying the factory’s shiny Victory Red clear coat paint job with a special PPG flattening agent mixed with clear to give it a satin appearance. The editors also added HUMMER’s brush guard, roof lighting and rocker protection accessories.

After that, Four Wheeler swapped in a set of nitrogen-charged, 2-inch-diameter Rod Hall Racing piggyback reservoir-type performance shocks and Light Racing JounceShocks. The editors also installed a set of GT Inc. Simulock 16-inch wheels – painted flat black to match the rest of the exterior theme. They’re factory-style HUMMER wheels with a simulated bead lock accent on the perimeter. The wheels were mounted on the H3 with a set of BFGoodrich Mud-Terrain T/A KM2 LT285/75R16 tires. The editors chose not to give the H3 a body lift, preferring to explore its capabilities with the stock ride height.

Additional modifications in the ongoing project include a Gobi Stealth roof rack with a custom, wireless remote-operated perimeter lighting system (with 10 PIAA 2100XT lamps) using components from Directed Electronics; a Warn XD9000 winch with winchline.com’s synthetic rope and hawse fairlead; DeFelice Offroad Innovations winch mount system and Up Armor skid plate.

The 5.3L V-8 is stock, but Four Wheeler added a MagnaFlow after-cat exhaust system. Most modifications and upgrades to the H3 were handled by Attitude Performance in Arlington Heights, Ill.

Progress of the Trailhugger project continues in the pages of Four Wheeler and a complementing blog: blogs.fourwheeler.com, where editor Ken Brubaker regularly writes about the H3’s upgrades and its performance as a workhorse for the magazine.

# # #

I'm staying at a hotel in Arizona and this trucker was checking in at the same time as me. I overheard him talking about having something in the back that he did not want a lot of people to know about.

After he went up to his room I went to the back of the building to check out what he was talking about. Turns out he had the semi used for Optimus Prime on the back of his truck, in addition to a new vehicle. Looks like a humvee with the word Nest stenciled on the side. I took the pictures with my Blackberry as I don't have my camera with me.

Went to dinner and came back, noticed he covered up the Humvee.

[via Tformers.com]

Jalopnik Snap Judgment: It's suddenly becoming more apparent why GM considers the sale of Hummer to be an "urgent" matter: perhaps it's because with every day that passes — and every dealer that closes — the value of the brand is dropping like c-notes at the craps table. If GM wants to get anything out of this deal, they have to act quickly. Evidence is mounting that keeping Hummer as a viable concern in the US market is unlikely, so any potential suitors will need to come from countries with a strong market for over-the-top SUVs — Russia or somewhere in the Middle East. [WSJ]

No, this isn't a ploy by Hummer to finally break through into the hippie subconscious. Artists at this year's Burning Man festival have built a gigantic Hummer, named the Bummer, meant to get us thinking about consumerism or something. [SFGate, Photo: Frederic Larson/The Chronicle ]

According to the folks that sent us this set of pictures, boaters were enjoying the nice weather at Sylvan Lake in Alberta, Canada when a dad and his teenage daughter pulled up in their new boat and new Hummer. After dropping the boat into the water successfully, the dad reportedly yelled for her to pull the SUV out of the water. This is where a textbook launch goes wrong. Instead of selecting that "D" the teenager selected the "R" and the Hummer went rolling into the water. No one was hurt but, obviously, the new Hummer is a bit soggy and Dad was not pleased. (Thanks to Thomas for the pics)

"Perhaps the best deal for GM would be to procure smaller Chinese SUV’s and turn the Hummer brand into an economical SUV brand."

Now there's a moneymaking idea for the General: Build smaller, more fuel efficient and totally unsafe SUVs! [China Car Times]

The lightest rebuff came last Thursday from Russian Machines, owned by allegedly mobbed-up Oleg Deripaska, which merely denied they were doing anything in an official capacity:

"Russian Machines neither received any proposals to consider acquisition of the Hummer assets, nor is strategically interested in such a deal"

China's Changfeng merely points out the obvious:

"The Hummer is way too expensive for the Chinese military and demand from civilian buyers is not big enough to justify a purchase, especially with oil prices running near an all-time high"

Our favorite is Mumbai-based Mahindra, which not only denied interest but also took a swipe at Hummer's image:

"We are pursuing our own models strategy and we do not want to tarnish our lean warrior strategy."

Ouch. That strategy they're talking about is the diesel-electric Scropio and Appalachian. Maybe those ice cream men can pool some money together.

[Reuters, Reuters and Reuters]

Sergey Babichenko, a representative of Russian Machines' parent company, wrote to ABC News, explaining, "Mr. Deripaska is a respected member of society, a leading Russian businessman, a philanthropist and an outspoken champion on vital global issues of sustainable development and climate change." That last part's what has us worried: We fear that Deripaska may not be aware of the scope of the environmental backlash Hummer has faced in the States. Then again, if Rick Wagoner had just stuffed naysayers into the trunk of a limo and taken them for a "little ride," perhaps Hummer sales wouldn't be down by 60% this year. [ABC News]

The robots-in-disguise fan-boys at the Transformer Live Action Movie Blog have snapped some close-up pictures of the Hummer HX concept taken at the San Pedro, California set for the new Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen movie due out next summer. Also spotted was a Hummer H3T decked out with the same kind of "NEST" decals as the HX. Want to see the shot in higher resolution? Click here. [Transformers Live Action Movie Blog]

The incentive bonuses are not insignificant: Automotive News quoted Miami Hummer dealer Ed Williamson as saying they could "be substantial," often in the six-figures. Williamson would know: He happens to own the highest-volume Hummer store in the country, Williamson Cadillac-Hummer. So how many of the beasts did the hottest location move in June? Thirty-one, or about one per day. That's compared to about 100 a month during 2007.

Jalopnik Snap Judgment: Sales dropping due to a "loser" image? Irrelevant products? A parent company that's given up hope? It's DeSoto, Studebaker and Oldsmobile all over again. Take a picture of yourself next to an H2 soon: One day your kids will say "I can't believe people used to drive things like that!" [Automotive News (Sub. Req.); Photo Credit: A1 Limobus]

The Standard Taxi would be the first purpose-built taxi since the Checker Marathon, and the design offers some advantageous features. The strange-looking vehicle has easily replaceable body panels for simple maintenance in the urban environment. The low-floor configuration means it'll take wheelchairs and scooters, so the cab should also see use as a paratransit vehicle. And, most importantly, the cab can hold four passengers as well as an heiress-level of luggage. Expect a new, less awkward design for the production version.

Newsletter Announcement

We are very proud to announce that we have teamed up with AM General LLC to build our vehicles. AM General® is located in South Bend, Indiana, where it has manufactured the HUMVEE® (High Mobility Multi-purpose Wheeled Vehicle) for the military since 1985. AM General's product heritage includes the venerable HUMMER® H1 and they currently assemble the HUMMER H2 which is marketed by General Motors Corporation. Our vehicle production is scheduled to begin in 2009.

Quality and Performance! Our groundbreaking agreement with AM General will benefit owners, operators, drivers, and the riding public. We looked at several manufacturing possibilities over the past year and we chose AM General because of its excellence in building vehicles and its vast experience in procuring parts and vehicle components, engineering and validation processes, service parts logistics, maintenance planning, warranty service and administration, and launch of production vehicles. More details to come in our next VPG newsletter!

[VPG Autos via Hummer Guy]

The Journal claims GM has already taken Chevrolet and Cadillac off the table, considering them core to the company. But what about the rest of the lineup?

Saturn: GM's low-price, non-haggle, donut-loving import-fighter brand has reportedly never made a profit. Even with products like the Aura and Astra, it's having trouble making any inroads with consumers despite a loyal fan base. Coupled with the fact GM has reportedly stopped development work on the next-gen Aura, we think Saturn's got a good chance of getting to know Geo in the division dumpster.

Saab: The storied Swedish born-from-jets brand has either been vastly improved or pathetically watered-down during GM's ownership, depending upon whom you talk to. Either way, with only about 35,000 sales per year in the U.S. — about what the Accord sells each month — Saab is probably due for an ownership change.

Buick: If it weren't for Buick's gangbusters Chinese sales and the strong-selling Enclave, we'd be more concerned about the tri-shield brand. Would it go Asian-market only? Possibly, but Buick's made it out alive before, and we think it'll do so again. There are just too many old people out there to sell to.

GMC: GM's truck brand sells rebadged Chevrolets almost exclusively, and Acadia is reportedly already a goner. But the division has a strong brand presence among site foremen who enjoy driving the same vehicle their workers drive, but at a 10% premium. Will that be enough? We give GMC a 50/50 shot.

Pontiac: The performance division has Solstice, the G8, and the reasonably strong-selling G6. Pontiac has always been an image brand as well as a volume brand; is G8 enough to bring that performance image back? We're not so sure...but we don't think Pontiac is going away any time soon.

So, who's following Hummer (and probably about 25,000 current GM employees) out the door? Give us your thoughts. [WSJ]

If you recall, Ratchet from the first Transformers was a tweaked Hummer H2. Could Ratchet be getting a upgrade? Or will the Hummer H3 serve as a completely new Transformer? GM might just using the black H3s because it doesn't have enough spare Hummer HX concepts for a measly movie expo. Only time will tell.

Maybe that "strategic review" of the Hummer brand meant just dumping all of the Hummer eggs into the Transformers basket. [TFW2005]

The murmuring about Hummer being up for sale got credence with the news that Citibank has been retained to conduct a "strategic review" of the brand. Our little birdie has told us that Citibank's real job is to screen potential buyers. [Automotive News Sub. Req.]

Countries raking in huge oil profits are would be the most likely destination for Hummer. Markets in Russia and Latin America continue to demand large SUVs, while China and India are potential suitors as well. At least one analyst speculated about Hummer as a logical fit for Tata Motors. "It would be a great fit with Land Rover," said Rajesh Kothari, a partner with investment banker Seneca Partners LLC and Manchester Holdings. "Hummer is a similar product line; it has similar demographics but a different reach." While the combination of Tatas and a Hummer make perfect sense to us, a spokesperson from the Indian automaker declined to comment.
[Freep; Photo Credit: GraniteGrok.com]

Most of Phelan's arguments center around the drawbacks of shutting Hummer down. Thing is, shuttering the brand has always seemed the least-likely scenario. Instead, GM would be better off selling the brand to an outside investor or automaker who could then supply Hummer products to the markets that demanded them — including the U.S., should they choose to do so. Hummer dealers would mostly remain intact, owners would retain parts and service availability, and the General could post a nice chunk of cash to its books while ridding itself of a brand liability and excess manufacturing capacity. What's not to like here?

These questions and more will probably not be answered for some time, but in the meantime someone over at Releaselog managed to capture some photos of vehicles, including this one of the Hummer HX as some sort of military vehicle.

[ReleaseLog via TFW2005]

The news isn't all doom and gloom, however: Third shifts are coming to the Lake Orion plant that builds G6 and Malibu and to the Lordstown plant spewing Cobalt and G5. In other words, big vehicles out, little econoboxes in. Next up: Chrysler announces new Lean Burn 300C.

Coggiola, a design firm based in Turin, Italy, created the T-REX back in 2000 as a concept vehicle to display at that year's Geneva Motor Show. We're not sure what exactly they were thinking at the time, but the Italians took the chassis of a Hummer H1 and made a completely custom body and interior for it. You would think they would shoot for something dramatically stylish, but the end result looks to us like a bloated Jeep Grand Cherokee that just feasted upon a liberty. Sure, the 6.5-liter turbo-diesel engine and all the tough off-road drivetrain remains, so it does retain some function to its form. Actually, with all that interior room you could probably even live in this thing, so perhaps it's even more purposeful than before. However you feel about the T-REX, the current asking price of about $800,000 is probably enough to keep away all but the most oil-rich buyers.
[eBay Italy via CarScoop]

Other than the dual-SIMs, the HT2 is a quad-band phone, therefore it can work just about anywhere. It also has a media player, 2-megapixel camera (for taking picture of your pristinely garaged Hummer), Bluetooth, microSD expandability and more. It will be available first in Russia and Latin America. [Giz]

The second tidbit of news comes by way of the Sedona, Ariz. film commission that is reporting multiple production inquiries for Transformers 2. Given the geographic nature of Arizona, it's not that shocking to hear Michael Bay and company looking to the Sedona to film the sequel. At least there is plenty of room for overly epic and amazing Transformers fight scenes. [Superhero Hype; Sedona Film Commission via TFW2005]

"Most single men buy Hummers to impress women. The only women that a Hummer impresses are high maintaince goal diggers. Is this what you really want in your life?"

Look a little further and this is what you'll get:

If you really want to meet high quality women you need to look outside the USA. Foreign women have the qualities you want!

Why not enlist and pick up foreign women today in your Hummer?

"We started talking about what people dream about when they scratch the coin against the ticket, and almost always the first thing they dream about doing is buying a car," Was told the Providence Journal. "This is a ghost of all those dreams."

"We wanted the piece to contain the value of a Hummer," Eckstrom told the paper. "And $35,000 is also the price of the piece."

But the design does get an upgrade as we see an intelligent choice by GM to move away from the seven bar grille and that silly never-ending argument with Chrysler's Jeep division. Finally, this model purports to be the greenest Hummer yet, with an all-electric powertrain — that should get the envirocrats off of GM's back for a while, or at least reduce the number of H2 barbecues. [eBay]

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: Yes
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: Yes
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: No
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: Yes
Soccer Moms: Yes
Nascar Dads: Yes
Golfing Grandparents: No

Also Consider:
• Nissan Frontier
• Toyota Tundra
• Ford Explorer Sport Trac
• Chevy Silverado

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Hummer
• Model tested: H3T Alpha
• Model year: 2009
• Base Price: $N/A
• Price as Tested: $N/A
• Engine type: 5.3 Liter OHV V-8
• Horsepower: 300 @ 5,200 RPM*
• Torque: 320lb/ft @ 4,000 RPM*
• Red Line: 6,000 RPM
• Transmission: Hydra-Matic 4L60 4-Speed Automatic
• Curb Weight: 4,850 lbs
• LxWxH: 210.3" x 85.1" x 72.2"
• Wheelbase: 134.2"
• Tires: 33" 285/75 R16
• Drive type: 4WD
• 0 - 60 mph: Approx 8 seconds
• 1/4-mile: N/A seconds
• Top speed: 98 MPH
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: N/A
• NHTSA crash test rating: N/A

*Pending SAE certification

– Curtis Walker

Also see:

• 2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part One

• 2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two

Acceleration: ***
4.10 gears get these 2.5 tons of steel and plastic up and moving. It's not gonna blow anyone's doors off, but it does what it needs to in traffic.

Braking: ****
Big discs at each corner slow this thing down in a hurry, and the dynamic rear proportioning should keep the rubber rolling in the back regardless of load. There's no handbrake present, and that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. The vehicle will automatically engage brakes if it rolls backwards for 2 seconds, but a handbrake would have felt more natural.

Ride: **
Bouncy and truckish, but this is a pre-production model, so lets hope it gets smoothed out by the time it reaches showroom floors.

Handling: ***
Given the ride height and center of gravity, this thing actually handles pretty well. The massive sway bars in the front and back help cornering a lot and the new steering gearing (16:1, 3 1/8 lock-to-lock) made parking and general driving pretty easy.

Gearbox: ****
Its 50:1 crawl ratio and 4.03 low range lock make downhill grades virtually brake free and let the 4-speed HydraMatic do all the work, keeping 2.5 tons under control. Highway shifting is silky smooth.

Audio: **
The speakers are fine and amplification is decent, but where's the iPod jack? XM is great and all, but c'mon, even Aveo's have an AUX input jack these days. It can't cost that much to implement this, so it just seems like an annoying oversight.

Toys: ***
The nav/entertainment system is nice, but throws a distracting glare into the back window. The pushbutton 4x4 controls are easy to read and conveniently located above the radio. Monochrome reverse vision seems a bit dated, but probably gives a better image in low light situations. The sunroof improves off-road visibility, especially when crawling down steep grades. OnStar and XM are nice doodads as well, at least for the free trial periods.

Value: N/A
Can't really call this one until pricing is announced, but there's bound to be a premium on the Hummer brand.

Overall: **
Probably the most complete vehicle in the Hummer range, the H3T improves on its relatives' best attributes — off-road ability and macho styling — but still suffers from the same problems - 'roid rage styling and enormous dimensions for relatively little storage space. A plain old pickup would be cheaper and more practical. Still, if you must have a Hummer, this is the one to get.

– Curtis Walker

Also see:

• 2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part One

It's jolaszek, who considered Part One of the Hummer H3T Alpha review and, after studying the pics, dropped this choice piece of...well, you know:

Gawldamn, that thing's got more rear overhang than Liza Minelli.

Ooof! Bonus point for the creative backwoods patois spelling of the cuss word.

Photo: AP