Jalopnik: Hoon

Angry Locals Dole Out Mob Justice To Aussie Hoons

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:30:00 EDT

Tired of having their streets terrorized by teenage hoons, residents of Edmonton, Australia have taken to tracking the perpetrators down and publicly shaming them. The angry neighbors have been recording the registration numbers of the hoons in order to locate their homes. Since most are still living with their parents (thereby saving money for new parts for their Utes), the mobs demand the parents drag their spawn out to the street in order for a serious "Come to Jesus" meeting. Though police have been attempting to seize and destroy as many illegally modified and driven vehicles as possible, it isn't enough for these locals. What has driven them so crazy?

In addition to the usual loud noise, high speeds and long black stripes that come with hoonage, locals complain about having to constantly replace fences.

Tramway maintenance worker Sid Shepherd lives at nearby Ravizza Drive and said hoons had crashed into his fence and yard seven times in the past five years.
"One time, we had just had it fixed and within an hour, it was knocked out again," Mr Shepherd said.

Public shaming is great and all but we're still holding out for real Australian justice to take the day.

[Source/Photo: Cairns.com]

Australian Teen Crashes SUV Into Tree, Repeatedly, Attempting To Dislodge Koala

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:00:00 EDT

Proving that the best intentions aren't always matched with the best actions, 19-year-old Brett Seabrook of Victoria, Australia attempted to help a koala he thought was injured by repeatedly ramming its tree with his Toyota Landcruiser. Apparently the incident began when the Aussie teen found the koala at his campsite and wrapped it in a blanket — which is sort of a nice way of saying he abducted it. After hanging out with the koala for a while, he released it into a tree. That's when the koala started making noises, worrying Seabrook and prompting a somewhat irrational series of responses.

According to The Age:

Wildlife officer Greg Chant, prosecuting for the Department of Sustainability and Environment, said when the koala began to make a loud noise, Seabrook tried to retrieve it by poking it with a stick.
Mr Chant said Seabrook then rammed the tree with his Toyota Landcruiser utility, which was witnessed by a number of nearby campers who alerted authorities.

Is that hoonage or insanity? We're leaning towards insanity, likely adolescence-induced. The teen was eventually arrested and charged with a variety of wildlife protection laws and has pleaded guilt to them, accepting a rather modest charge of $2,200.

[Source: The Age, Photo: China Photos/Getty Images]

Five Supercars Worth $1.4 Million Allegedly Trashed By Drunken Brit Wedding Guests

Andrew Stoy — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:00:00 EDT

According to The Sun an unruly group of UK wedding guests spent this past weekend destroying five rented supercars valued at over $1.4 million. The carnage includes a Bentley Continental GT, a Ferrari F430 and three Lamborghini Gallardo Spyders. Although the details are still rather sketchy, here's what we've learned.

The group of hoon-igans reportedly rented the cars for just under $10,000 apiece from Pearl Rentals of Wembley. The Sun claims the story is as follows:

"a sharp-suited group of Asian-looking men...wrecked a Ferrari on Saturday after smashing into another of the cars. The Lamborghini — one of three rented — was totaled when it hit a tree in Bridgnorth, Shrops, on Sunday."

Amid all the mashed-up metal, supposedly an Audi R8 escaped unscathed. New luxury triumphs again, apparently.

We're also told UK cops are still trying to find the drivers and other accomplices. So, if you're in the UK and you spot a group of "Asian-looking men" wearing ruffled, yet still quite sharp, suits walking down the side of the road. Be sure to call your local constable.

[The Sun]

Watch Out For The Nurburgring's Undercover BMW!

Mark Arnold — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:45:00 EDT

Planning a trip to the Nurburgring this summer? Well, if you are, make sure to watch out for this BMW if you happen to be engaging in any unapproved shenanigans either at the 'ring or just off it. Although this may look like a normal 3-Series, looks can be deceiving.

It's those funny switches hidden in the ashtray that give away this 3-series as an undercover police car. The good chap who runs BridgeToGantry spotted it lurking around, we're assuming for off-track hoons or anyone engaging in ~~fun stuff~~ drifting while overtaking. [BridgeToGantry]

Jumping A Saturn At Dave's Farm

Mark Arnold — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:00:00 EDT

Another day, another beater car hooned at Dave's Farm. Sure it's not as impressive as the Honda 666, or the Buick Halfmaster, but who doesn't love seeing a car catching air? It may be a lowly '90s Saturn, but the flat black and flames make up for it.
[Dave's Farm]

Icelandic Hoons Protest Falling Krona, Rising Gas Prices

Ray Wert — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:40:00 EDT

Iceland's the one country with a currency rate falling further than the dollar and according to the front-pager today in the Wall Street ~~Murdoch~~ Journal it's having a serious impact on our hoonage-loving brethren from the land of the ice and snow. As those of us here have known ever since we saw Richard Hammond try to outrun a man ~~walking~~ driving on water — their only real escape is on nitrous-injected, giant-wheeled trucks which they throw at the mountainous landscape with the greatest of abandon. Unfortunately ballooning debt payments, punishing fuel prices and a cratering currency are all such buzz-kills. The Journal's Marcus Walker tells the story:

"Sveinbjörn Halldórsson, a 44-year-old real-estate agent from Reykjavík, drives a Chevy S10 pickup with a souped-up engine, 44-inch tires with spikes, and four kinds of radios and phones on the dashboard. Filling up the truck's 240-liter tank (about 63 gallons) for the weekend costs him nearly $500, with gas costing $7.84 a gallon. He rolls with one of many so-called gangs on Iceland's highly competitive 4x4 off-road vehicle scene...A once-booming real-estate market is now in free-fall. Last year, Mr. Halldórsson's company sold 30 apartments a month. Last month it sold three. "When the phone rings now, the noise shocks everybody," he says. As his payments balloon and times get tougher, he's having to skip jeep trips, including his gang's annual five-day glacier expedition later this month."

Young Icelandic hoons are apparently even taking to the streets in protest. The Journal continues:

Samúel "Wolf" Thór Gudjónsson, a lanky 21-year-old electrician with long blond rocker's hair, joined with dozens of other jeep fans earlier this month to protest climbing fuel prices, blocking oil companies' depots. Others drove their jeeps through the city's streets at 5 miles an hour to demand cuts in fuel taxes.
Demonstrations are rare in stoical Iceland, a country of only 300,000 people. But the threat to jeep habits is just too much. Alfred "Spotti" Bergisson, a 26-year-old plumber who drives a beefed-up Toyota Land Cruiser, is willing to fight for his right to party. "I just want to go where I want to go," he says. "I get energy in the mountains. I think there."

You go, you young hoons of Iceland. Remember — they may take our tricked out jeep-truck rock-crawlers, they may kill our cheap gas, but they'll never take away our freedom — to hoon! [Wall Street Journal]

Catastrophic ZAZ Rollover Leaves Russian Hoons Miraculously Unharmed

Murilee Martin — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 13:40:00 EDT

Where would we be without English Russia? We wouldn't have heard about the Stalinmobile, for starters! Most of all, we'd have to do without the all-important ZAZ hoonage! The Russians can bash 'em into trees, do epic donuts, and- of course- roll 'em. Today, we get to see in-car video of a quartet of Russians taking a Zaporozhets up to the lunatic speed of 90 KM/H, wipe out in spectacular fashion, and walk away from the wreck. That's sure to be a long trudge back to the village for these guys. [English Russia]

Hoon of the Day: Zaporozhets Donuts

Murilee Martin — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:00:00 EDT

We've seen Russian hoons roll a ZAZ and we've seen them smash a ZAZ into a tree. But how about taking the little air-cooled, 26-horse Russian car and adding another 150 or so horsepower? Excellent idea! Of course, when you build such a Zaporozhets, a certain amount of hoonage seems inevitable.

Hit It, Boy! Helmetless, Hopped-Up Power Wheels Hoonage

Murilee Martin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:40:00 EDT

The ATV-assisted Power Wheels hoonage we saw yesterday showed some medium-grade disregard for safety, all right. But how about when you get a younger kid, lose the helmet, and juice up his Power Wheels truck with about ten times the factory power? This boy showcases some serious drifting skills as he lays hard plastic all over his cul-de-sac, ultimately flipping his top-heavy ride. Fortunately, there's a happy ending, without the kid's dome busted on the hard concrete... this time.

Hoon Of The Day: News Van Drag Racing

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:00:00 EDT

Oops. While drag racing a news van in a larger market like San Antonio or Houston wouldn't cause such a stir, in El Paso it'll get you fired. The difference? In those big cities they have more live trucks, production vehicles and satellite rigs to cover a war. Chris Bernal, a photographer for KDBC, found out the hard way that heads will roll if you race the station's only live truck. Though they may have thought they had a monopoly on coverage of the event, you can hear someone in the video saying "every cell phone is out" to film it. Oops. [CarScoop, KVIA]

Commenter of the Day: Orange Crush Edition

Matthew DeBord — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:45:00 EST

Sure, we thought about foraging the assorted trashy declarations that followed our Dancing Traffic Girl Hoon of the Day post. We think she'd do pretty well on a USO tour of war-torn regions, and there's a taste of the dragon in there someplace. But not today. After all, we're working a car show. Let's maintain focus. Commenter of the day, then, please?

It's the reveal that ate Chicago. We're as guilty as anyone else, covering the Dodge Challenger SRT8 here, here, here, here, here and here. Commenter Udman took note:

Ok, enough with the Challenger already..... It's here, it's Orange, It has a Charger Interior, You can get a HEMI. Is there any other cars at this show?

Personally, I don't know. I'm handling editorial duties for the J-Lop from L.A. and am not privy to either the show floor or the deep-dish after-hours pizza orgies. However, as Hardigree pointed out in preview, what we got here in Chi-Town is a truck show, mainly.

So no. No, Udman, there are no other cars at the show. There's a Corvette, but we think it's actually a time machine or something that's intended to shred the fabric of the cosmos.

Violent Idaho Hoons Issue Beat-Down After Truck Donuts Criticized

Murilee Martin — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 07:45:00 EST

Stories like this one make us wish we could write like Kevin Hoover of the Arcata Eye (Warning: Do not click on that link if you need to get anything done during the next several hours!). Basically, what we got here is a pair of Idaho brothers straight out of Northwest Hoon Central Casting, right down to the red flannel shirts, pickup truck, and scrungy facial hair. John and Robert Rasho were minding their own business on a street in Kuna, Idaho, just spinning some donuts in their truck, not bothering nobody, when some killjoy neighbor came out and asked them to, like, knock it off. Next thing you know, you got one hospitalized killjoy, one impounded pickup, and two hoons in jail. (Hat tip to LTDScott!) [KTVB]

Who Was Hoon of the Year in 2007?

Murilee Martin — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 11:45:00 EST

We've seen some excellent examples of the Vehicular Idiocy Captured On Film genre this year, and now it's time for us to vote on which hoon wins the coveted Jalopnik Hoon of the Year award. Jump like a Suzuki Sidekick- wait, we mean like a Chevy Sprint- and vote early and often for the hoonliest hoon of 2007! Warning: many of these videos feature language that your uptight coworkers might consider NSFW.

Sprint Jumping

Eldorado Versus Camper

Swedish Escort Service

Two-Wheeling, Qatar Style

Gnarly Gnorwegian Volvitude

Suzuki Sidekick Hang Time

Who Will Survive The Indian Well of Death?

Aussie Cop Car Hooned

Always Go All The Way With Your Smoky Burnouts

Snow King: WRXs On Ice

Bad Weld Job Gives Us Flashbacks To Donked On The Strip

Sand Dune V8 Madness

Minivan Versus Trailer

Dude, What's The Side Impact Rating On Your Truck?

Skoda Jump

Tercel's Death of a Thousand Cuts

Cah Jumping In Massachusetts

ZAZ Meets Tree

Uff Da! Minnesota Workplace Hoonage

OK, you've seen the hoonage- now let us know which one gets the dubious honor of wearing the 2007 Hoon of the Year crown!

Snowbound Motive Mag Demonstrates the Scandinavian Flick

Jonny Lieberman — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 14:45:00 EST

I happen to live in ~~paradise~~ Los Angeles, but for those of you in snowy, icy northern ~~nightmares~~ places, you might be very interested in the driving lesson that Motive is offering. It's called the Scandinavian Flick. Rally drivers, drifters and even my brother Hollywood stuntmen are all familiar with the technique. Motive's Bryan Joslin is claiming the Flick is the fastest and safest way around a wet corner. Though, he does point out that law enforcement might view your superior car control as nothing more than hoonage, so don't Flick on public roads.

Here's how you Flick around a right-hander:

1. Set up the car in a straight line before the onset of the turn. The car should be just to the left of the road's centerline, to allow room for the tail to swing out.
2. Flick the steering wheel just slightly in the opposite direction of your intended turn, in this case a faint snap to the left. This will shift the car's load dramatically, and build up inertial momentum.

3. Quickly move the wheel back in the direction of your intended turn, to the right in this example. The sudden change in direction will upset the chassis just enough to cause the back end of the car to over-react, pointing you in the direction of the turn, or even a little bit past it. To heighten this effect, you can either lift the throttle or provide a bit of left-foot braking just after the initial, opposite-direction flick (Step 2).

4. Once the car starts to rotate, apply just enough countersteering to put the car on its final trajectory.

5. With the car on its new heading, apply enough throttle to pull you through the turn, gradually trimming back the car's rotation as you pull through the apex of the curve.

6. Exhale, unpucker, and declare to the onlooking moose that you're the king of the North Country.

That sounds about right. Or at least fun. Next time we're in the snow we're going to have to give the Flick a try. Or at least some aquavite. Oh, and if you click over to Motive, pay special attention to the car used for the demo. [Motive Mag]

LeMon Pits: The Casualties Mount

Jonny Lieberman — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 00:00:00 EST

This is racing! It's about 37 degrees out. There are no spectators here; no fans, just the drivers and the crews. Yet the teams aren't quitting. Unless they are forced to. Like the SE-R, which somehow lost 3 of its 4 studs on the right front wheel. That's metal fatigue for you. Team Dilligaf got three black flags for excessive hoonage, as did the former front runners in the #87 MR2. Other than that, it's just the usual series of brakes, radiators, gaskets and, well, radiators. Pit party starts in 15 minutes. TOTAL COVERAGE continues...

Pssst, check out the water squirting up in the lower right corner. No, they didn't know why either.

Bad hoon. This guy spun team Dilligaf's CRX enough times to collect 3, count 'em 3, black flags. He's blaming the mud. Uh huh, sure. And yes Davey, the Rockford Pile Transfiremaro is A-OK.

Aussie Hoons Constantly Blowing Themselves Up

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:45:00 EST

Here's a fun statistic for you: one-in-ten serious burn cases treated in Australia are from men tinkering with their cars at home. It's such a serious issue that, according to the Herald Sun, one-in-six victims treated at the Victorian Adult Burns Service in 2006 were careless or unlucky gearheads. Said one young victim "One thing i don't think I will ever forget is the pain. You don't think you can be put through that much and still survive." Yeah, but he's got a totally rad Falcon to show for it.

Actually, the kid in the story was pouring gas into a carburetor of a farm vehicle (maybe a Holden SS V-Series Ute?) when the vehicle burst into flame, causing him third degree burns on one side of his body. We like his outlook though.

"And the smell will stay with me too. It is never going to stop me playing around with cars, but obviously I will be respecting the petrol side of it a lot more."

Well put. [Herald Sun]

Teenage Hoon Slapped with $104,000 Insurance Premium

Wes Siler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 12:15:00 EST

Being a teenager in Canada isn't all it's cracked up to be. Described as having "a tendency to speed" by his doting mother, 19 -year old Jason Towers has racked up no less than 10 speeding tickets since he got his license in May 2005. Towers claims most of those tickets were given for only going a few kilometers over the per-hour limit. Which definitely explains his two license suspensions in that time. If you're starting to get the impression that Towers might be a dangerous driver, you'd be wrong.

He's only had two minor fender benders, oh and that one little accident where he totaled his car. So it came as a shock to Jason's mom when she called to renew the insurance on his Nissan 240SX, only to be quoted $104,556. By calling around, she eventually got that number down to $50,000, still more than she was prepared to spend on insuring her son's car. Sometimes, life just isn't fair. [Via the Edmonton Journal]
Photo credit: Eric Castro

Hoon Mom Races With Toddler in Car

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 10:15:00 EST

Today's "World's Best Dad" just happens to be a mom, proving that stupidity is not a genetic trait. It all started when two Australian women in their late 20's were popped by an unmarked car racing from traffic light to traffic light in Elizabeth North, Adelaide. No word on whether they were driving modified Holdens or just a pair of Taragos, though it didn't seem to matter to the police when they found the 22-month-old toddler in the back seat.

Police described themselves as "shocked" and "horrified" at the discovery and charged both with speeding and hoon driving. Both cars were also seized and, we're hoping, someone is looking into getting that kid into safer hands. Australia! [News.com.au]

Hoon of the Day: Suzuki Sidekick Hang Time

Murilee Martin — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 13:30:00 EST

This one has all the makings of a total disaster, the kind involving emergency-room personnel tweezing shards of metal from scorched flesh while burly interns pin the screaming patient down and somber policemen interview his not-very-sober friends. Happily, though, this Sidekick jump goes off without killing or maiming anyone at all! We don't want to spoil it, but let's just say this hoon gives the jumping Mahindra Jeep scene a run for its money. Thanks to LTDScott for the tip! Warning: NSFW due to Jersey-style profanity.

Hoon of the Day: Barbie Corvette + Gas Engine + Snow

Murilee Martin — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:00:00 EST

The Power Wheels Barbie Corvette is just the thing for a little girl to cruise around the playground, with its safe-and-sane electric motor. But how about when you put a two-stroke gas engine in it, squeeze an adult male into the driver's seat, add beer, and put the whole assembly on snow? It looks like these hoons must have disabled the car's ABS prior to this run. But wait, there's more hoonage...

Break Me Off A Piece Of That... Hand Brake?

Ray Wert — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:00:00 EST

Sometimes you're the Hoon of the Day because you purposely acted in a stupid fantastic way with the explicit intent of acting stupid fantastic. Other times, you're the Hoon of the Day because you did something accidentally brilliantly stupid. Other times you're the Hoon of the Day just because you decided not to use the hand brake. This would be one of those times. (Hat tip to J.F.!) [via Break]

Aussie Hoon Cop Identified, Suspended

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 11:15:00 EST

The Aussie policehoon we told you about yesterday has been identified as a 30-year-old first class constable of the West Australian police. The officer had a reasonable excuse, as the organizer of a local carshow asked the trained pursuit driver to show off his moves. Nevertheless, the local authorities are trying to send a message and have suspended the cop over the impromptu demonstration.

An interesting twist, his wife and partner was in the passenger side of the car but has not been suspended. All of this happened more than a year ago, but it's politically convenient to make an issue out of this now. [The Age]

Always Go All The Way With Your Smoky Burnouts

Ray Wert — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 11:30:00 EST

We've always been a believer that if you're gonna do it, you should do it right, child. Like with a smoky burnout. Don't even think of stopping your brake-mashing, accelerator-jamming burnout until you've dug a 14-inch wide and 6-inch deep crater in the pavement, your tires are nothing but a pile of tiny rubber pellets 20 feet behind you and the rear end of your jeep's a flaming wreck. Like this guy. We're telling you — that's commitment. And that's why he's the Hoon of the Day.

Icy Roads: Good For Hoonage, Bad For Insurance Rates

Ray Wert — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 08:00:00 EST

[Jalopnik Public Service Announcement] We're supposedly going to get our first "snowfall" of the year here in Detroit tonight and we thought maybe it could be a good time to remind all of our readers to be safe on the roads this winter. Each year countless millions die of ice-related driving accidents until they are dead and more importantly countless hundreds of millions are left without means of vehicular transportation after going faster than the conditions warrant — like the poor schlep in the pickup truck here. So remember folks, icy roads may be good for hooning about, but they're not good for your insurance rates. That is all. [/Jalopnik Public Service Announcement]

Jalopnik Holiday Gift Guide: Hoon Street Sign

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:30:00 EST

Whether of divine creation or just miraculous happenstance, no gift could be more appropriate for the hoon in your life than this novelty "Hoon Dr." garage street sign. On sale at the low-low Amazon price of $12.95, you're saving $7.00 off the list price (no, we're not taking kickbacks from Amazon). No reviews on the product yet, so we can't vouch for quality of product though we can glowingly recommend it on quality of idea. Full product details below.

Product Description HOON Street Sign, A BRAND NEW SIGN!! Made of aluminum and high quality vinyl lettering and graphics this sign is 4 x 18 inches. Made to last for years outdoors the sign is nice enough to display indoors. Comes with two holes pre-punched for easy installation, corners are rounded. Great gift idea!(thanks NotFord)

Ferrari Testarossa Crash In Madrid Makes Us Momentarily Worry We Need Bigger T-Shirts

Ray Wert — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:00:00 EST

Everyone knows about our love of the Enzo. How many websites have a car-crush so hard it actually necessitated creation of a t-shirt to do our college try best at saving the few remaining noble founder name-sake prancing stallions still left. Fortunately, despite the necessary asshattery required to crash your Ferrari Testarossa on a Madrid street — the T-rossa ain't quite close enough to extinction yet to warrant a specific t-shirt for his or her efforts. However, the catch-all "I Am Hoon of the Day" would fit just perfectly wethinks. [Colmenarejo via Motorpasion via Carscoop]

DARPA Robot Car Crashes Into Ford Taurus

Ray Wert — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 10:00:00 EST

Although the DARPA Grand Challenge has already declared a winner and we've even done a wrap-up post already — we felt the need to run this week-old video of the Axion "Spirit" racing vehicle taking a left turn directly into one of the human-driven Ford Taurus chase vehicles. Yes, This may be our first non-human Hoon of the Day, but with all our DARPA coverage from the past week or two, we felt it necessary to welcome rather than discriminate against our new robotic driving overlords. [via Gizmodo]

The Top 44 Lemons of 24 Hours of LeMons!

Murilee Martin — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 09:45:00 EDT

First of all, I'm sorry to disappoint anyone who interpreted the photo above as an indication that a late-70s Mercury Cougar and an early-70s AMC Hornet actually finished in the top 44 at the 24 Hours of LeMons race at Altamont over the weekend. They did not; I used this photo because I wish they had so triumphed. Second of all, I got plenty more photos to post of this Incredibly Jalop-Approved Event™, but it took me so long to prepare the ones you see below that you'll have to wait for later to see the rest. Jump like a gutted CRX sliding sideways into a tractor tire to see the Top 44...

One thing we should make perfectly clear to those of you who haven't actually attended a 24 Hours of LeMans race: this is real racing! Don't be fooled by the $500 spending limit (which, uh, we think may have been exceeded by a few teams) or the often-whimsical appearance of the cars- the contending cars drove fast, spent a lot of time sideways, swapped a lot of paint with other cars, and left a trail of broken parts in their wake. Right, now on to the winnahs!

#1: Black Iron Racing

I thought this thing was some sort of pickup truck at first, but it's actually a BMW 5-series with most of the rear body cruelly hacked away. This car won the checkered flag by seven seconds!

#2: Circus Maximus

Yes, yes, BMWs in the first and second spots. Feel free to gloat, Bavariaphiles. This car was the leader for most of both days of racing, jousting with a destined-for-DNF-ing Acura for most of the first day. The plastic centurion-and-horseheads setup looked glorious in action.

#3: Everclear Racing

#4: Motoring J Style

Hey, an MR2! This car was always in the thick of the action.

#5: Lawrence Welk'em Wagon

This Miata had some really cool Christmas lights on the rollbar, to add to the fun once the sun went down.

#6 Team Uber Vogel

This Mercedes attracted little attention, but made the Top Ten in that unobtrusive Mercedes manner.

#7: Eyesore Racing

CRXs were definitely the cars to beat throughout the race; you couldn't look at any of the turns, at any point during the race, without seeing at least one CRX cutting inside a bunch of bigger cars and then yowling past them at nutso RPMs.

#8: Blue Goose Racing

There was a lot of grumbling in the pits about "those goddamn CRXs," due to the way they'd just zip around everybody. Thing is, the little Hondas spun out a lot (at least one flipped), and it didn't take too many impacts from the Detroit machines to send a CRX limping back to the pit for some emergency sledgehammer bodywork.

#9: Team Flocker

Yes, those are flocked Christmas trees. I never did get a chance to talk to Team Flocker about, like, the flocking business.

#10: Group of Foolz

How can you not love a BMW family sedan with a baby seat (including baby doll) attached to the roof? It was a laugh riot watching this thing powersliding around the track. Guess you had to be there...

#11: Prelude To Greatness Racing Team

#12: Old Dogs New Tricks

Hey, Jaguar lovers- check it out! Yes, in spite of all those Axis cars tearing up the track, a Jag almost made the Top Ten; the "mane" of brooms looked seriously classy on the roof.

#13: Team Size Matters

This is one of two teams named "Size Matters." In this case, the size being alluded to seems to be in the wing and exhaust tip. You know, a 6" diameter exhaust tip is good for 25 horses!

#14: Dilligaf

Yet another CRX in the top 20. Now I miss my old CRX!

#15: Pit Crew Revenge

This Honda sounded really mean after it got de-muffler-ized in one of the many crowd scenes going into a turn, and the flag made it easy to find on the track.

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#16: Edge Motorsports 1 Spooky

I couldn't figure out what was the deal with the black pompom on the roof; apparently some sort of Halloween reference.

#17: Team TuRD

We approve of race cars with ads for Capp Street bars in San Francisco painted on the side. I'm sure Toyota will want to adopt that TuRD logo, since it would add character to their current lineup.

#18: Snowspeeder Pilots Association

I never did get around to asking these guys what the plumbing on the roof of their MR2 was all about. Ram air intake? Intercooler helper? Rear brake cooling?

#19: Canola Rollaz

You're damn right a biodiesel Benz finished in the Top 20! I'll have more on this car later on.

#20: Spirit of San Diego

Hooray, a genuine slab-o-Detroit-Iron squeezing into the Top 20! This Chevy used one quart of oil in its 305, all weekend, if we are to believe the claims of its crew. One thing about the American cars; they were at a pronounced handling disadvantage on this track, but just about all of them finished the race.

#21: Redemption Racing

Note to self: Get a CRX.

#22: Volvos From Hell

You'd think a turbocharged 700-series Volvo would do better than 22nd place, but the tire-width rules really made life hard for the heavier cars.

#23: Size Matters Washington

Here's the second "Size Matters" car, and in this case the name makes sense. This 318-powered Fury was a relentless competitor, in spite of some pretty glaring handling issues, and was an obvious audience favorite. Don't worry, Mopar lovers, I have photos galore of this beast; stay tuned.

#24: Team Scooby

Here's one for you, Subaru fans! Everyone was impressed by the AWD handling awesomeness of this car, but it just didn't have the power to keep up.

#25: Saabs Gone Wild B

You want hardcore racing madness? The Saabs Gone Wild team cannibalized their driver car for parts for their race cars, apparently yanking the engine and rear suspension from their ride home. Our own SeanKHotay needs to join this team!

#26: Edge Motorsports 3 Pumpkin

#27: Are We There Yet Racing

#28: Mach Schnell

If you're getting the impression that BMWs and CRXs were quite numerous, you are correct.

#29: Do Or Die

Favorite of the crowd, terror of the track; this was Do Or Die's second LeMons race. An '82 Cadillac hearse, Do Or Die had the most awe-inspiring fishtailing action of any vehicle on the track, batting smaller cars into the walls like a pinball flipper hitting steel balls. It had pretty good V8 punch coming out of turns, thanks to the Caddy 425 under the hood, but it went through tires in a hurry. It was a common sight to spot several CRXs buzzing around like angry bees behind this monster in the turns, unwilling to risk certain obliteration when that rear end came swinging around.

#30: Deepest Valley Racing

Always good to see a box Chevy out there; this car was regarded as the Bulletproof Bully of the race.

#31: Poly Orchid Racing

There's a long, long story behind this 740iL, a story I'll get to later on. Let's just say this car was voted to be destroyed (one of the rituals of the 24 Hours of LeMons race has a popular vote selecting a single car to be picked out for destruction), and it survived the attempt, rejoining the race!

#32: Fish Out of Water

I would have expected to see more 944s here, since you can get them pretty cheap from owners who fear the timing belt replacement cost.

#33: Yuppy Rednecks

#34: Mazdasaurus Wrecks

Any ideas about the thing on the roof?

#35: California Mills

OK, here's the car I was rooting for the whole time- a '79 Alfa Romeo Alfetta, painted in the colors of the Italian flag! The drivers were good, the car was quick (and sounded great), and it was in the top 10 for most of both days. Sadly, it blew a head gasket late on Day Two... and you ain't gonna find a replacement Alfa head gasket in Livermore on a Sunday afternoon.

#36: Uncle Sam

Let's just say that 3rd-gen Camaros aren't exactly the best-handling cars ever built, and all the driver skill in the world can't change that. Other drivers learned to give this thing a wide berth in the turns.

#37: Keg Kar

#38: Team Autoblog/Modacar

Hey, it's our friends from Autoblog in that RX-7! Be sure to check out Damon's excellent insider coverage of the LeMons goings-on. A couple of other RX-7s started the race, including one really wild one painted in Rising Sun colors, but wrecks took them out of the game. Too bad- you need the sound of rotaries on a Sunday morning.

#39: Low Bucks High Boost

Could it be? A... Starion? Paging Mr. Bumbeck! Sadly, this Mitsu spent too much time in the pits to properly demonstrate its Super Potential.

#40: Kung Fu Fighting Irish

On Saturday, I was sure this car was going to win it all; it was by far the fastest thing on the track, turns or straightaways (leading to much speculation about the nature of its engine), and the drivers were just flat-out crazy. Even the other CRX drivers looked like hyper-cautious 90-year-olds next to this wailing green Honda; I'm not sure what happened, but it lost a lot of laps toward the end of Saturday and was seen departing on a trailer that night.

#41: Carpet Pissers

You know, that rug really brought the room together.

#42: Evilengineering.com

Eclipse? Talon?

#43: Team Santa Cruz

This 944 did well when it was on the track, but mechanical difficulties sidelined it for critical laps.

#44: SFFL BMW Sauber

Whew, that's it. I'd like to keep going, but it's late and I still have to write up DOTS. We'll be seeing 24 Hours of LeMons highlights all week, so come on back later.

Famoso Raceway remains socked in with drizzle. ...

Mike Bumbeck — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 13:15:00 EDT

Famoso Raceway remains socked in with drizzle. Top Fuel qualifying is set to begin again at high noon, weather permitting. The swap meet and car show on the grove is in full effect. Race fans seem oblivious to the few raindrops, and celery stalks have been seen in the cups of many.

Bad Weld Job Gives Us Flashbacks To Donked On The Strip

Ray Wert — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 15:00:00 EDT

With great power, comes great responsibilities — like remembering to make sure those weld jobs are done right on that rear axle. There's not much more for us to say here other than we haven't laughed this hard since we saw a a 20-year-old GM product up on 30" wheels try to drag at night. We think they're still trying to catch that last tire.

Jeep Fought The Rock And The Rock...Yeah

Ray Wert — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 10:15:00 EDT

What happens when you're in a lifted Jeep Grand Cherokee and you take on a big rock a wee bit too fast? Hilariousness happens, that's what. Oh, and your airbags deploy. Also, you look really silly.

Calling All Hoons! Cheap Jet Engine Alert!

Murilee Martin — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 14:00:00 EDT

You've made all sorts of jokes about Impalas with JATO power assist and so on, and maybe you've even jumped a Sprint. But what would you do with a real jet engine for your next project? 5000 frogskins and this fine General Electric J47 can be all yours! The J47 powered the B-47, F-86... and now your car! The seller is pretty stern about the "As Is" part, but it turns over- hell, a few twists of the wrench and it'll probably fire right up! [Craigslist]
You want to vote on possible recipients for this motor? Sure you do! Jump like a Toyopet on afterburner for the poll!

Dad's Turbo Dodge Caravan

Mike Bumbeck — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 15:00:00 EDT

From the 800-dollar turbocharged minivan department comes this 1989 Dodge Caravan SE with genuine simulated woodgrain trim. Along with doing toasty burnouts, the minivan has run the quarter mile in 12.65 seconds at Route 66 Dragway thanks to a set of slicks and 24 pounds of boost pushing through the stock 140K plus miles mill. The initial 800-dollar purchase price has been long-forgotten after all the modifications required to get the Iacocca Special into the 12-second zone. This guy figures if a 14-second minivan can beat most cars on the road, then a 12-second minivan can beat them all! [Dad's Turbo Minivan Bonanza]

When Shriners Go Bad!

Murilee Martin — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 16:30:42 EDT

According to the Washington Post, no charges have been filed against James H. Brooks, who apparently heard Judas Priest's "Hell Bent For Leather" playing at max volume in his head and hooned his miniature dune buggy into the crowd at a Chattanooga parade. Eight were injured in the mishap, five of whom were hurt badly enough to require hospital visits. While this incident wasn't anywhere near as tragic as the horrific Selmar burnout incident a while back, it's still gotta be tough for Tennesseans to have the crowd-hit-by car nightmare strike again.

Hoon of the Day: Sand Dune V8 Madness

Mike Bumbeck — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 13:00:00 EDT

The lure of the LS1 is not lost on the hoons of Saudi Arabia, who shoehorn them into old Nissans and wood it up the side of near vertical sand dunes. Watch as Othman Al Tayyar executes a perfect three-point turn in his LS1-powered Nissan Patrol. There's more of this sort of bad craziness here. (Thanks to Andy for the tip)

Project Car Hell: Camaro or Mustang?

Murilee Martin — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 17:30:29 EDT

Apologies for the lack of Project Car Hell recently, but I'm on vacation in rural Wisconsin and teh internets is hard to come by out here. Anyway, in our most recent poll, the Turbo Corvair-ified VW Bus just barely beat the pair-o-Vegas, and I'm sure that's just whetted your appetites for low-budget projects with great die-in-blaze-o-hoonic-glory (DIBOHG) potential. So, we're going to pit a pair of the all-time favorite American hoonmobiles against each other here...

Break out your Dead Milkmen albums, because we got us an '82 Camaro that's just counting the minutes until some lucky soul hauls it away. It's got a factory 4-speed! OK, we don't know what engine it has (we're betting it's not a 383 stroker with a Holley double-pumper and Hookers, but ya never know, ya know?) Other than the hood, it's all there, and the owner is only asking $300 (needs to be off the land ASAP, you see). Even if the engine has all of its rods dangling rustily out the block, you can practically buy small-block Chevy mills at K-Mart these days. Don't worry about the terrifyingly bad build quality of the early-third-gen F-body, because that will just add to the appeal when you give it a thick coat of flat black house paint... with a roller. The DIBOHG-O-Meter is off the scale here, folks!

You say you're a Ford loyalist who wouldn't be caught dead in a goddamn Camero (sic)? Or maybe you just like the lighter weight and easier availability of junkyard parts for the Ford Fox. Either way, this '82 Mustang is the car for you! The seller describes it as being just a body, but it clearly has at least some suspension. No need to worry about lack of drivetrain parts, though, because your local junkyard likely has a whole row of late-80s Lincoln Mark VIIs with 5.0 HOs that'll bolt right into this car. Not only that, it's got a "tittle" (sic)! If any car can possibly hope to rival the DIBOHG potential of a Camaro, you're looking at it rat cheer!

Australian Hoons Subjected To Accusations Of Phallic Inadequacy

Murilee Martin — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 10:45:00 EDT

In a craze that's apparently sweeping the nation, stupid Australian hoons who do show-offy burnouts, disregard the rights of pedestrians, or get all slidy in turns are being presented with a wiggly little finger brandished by irate bystanders. Yeah, they'll never do that again! So remember, folks, save your burnouts for a liquor-store parking lot full of screaming drunks in Van Halen T-shirts who actually want hoonage.

We Are Everywhere!

Murilee Martin — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 18:50:04 EDT

Wandering around the sea of crazy old race cars here at Laguna Seca, Mr. Johnson and I encountered loyal Jalopnik reader Chris, fully decked out in his Save The Enzos shirt and standing next to a Bugatti after a red-eye motorcycle ride up from SoCal. Good work, Chris! We thought about having him pose with his head wedged against the front wheel of the Enzo we saw a bit later, but such a move seemed unwise.

Donut Potential!

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 19:00:00 EDT

The Starion in this video is essentially a Euro-spec version of Jalopnik's own Star-of-Orion/Stallion steed. Fit Bumbeck's car with a wide plate, and you're ready to rock hoonage all over the continent. But these guys? Well, they're keeping it confined to the parking lot.

Broken Nose Hoon Adventures: You're Going Too Slow!

Murilee Martin — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:00:00 EDT

From Dave, the Canadian Master Hoon who brought us El Tauramino and the Platform Pontiac, here's a video showing exactly what happens when you attempt to do a ditch jump without A) getting sufficient momentum to clear the ditch and B) wearing a seatbelt. Even though the stunt was ultimately unsuccessful, we're going to award this a solid 40 points on the Hoon-O-Meter.