Jalopnik
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hopelessly cramped sporty small size. Here we see a grizzled Stalingrad survivor, wishing only for a brief moment of happiness to distract him from the waking nightmare that has been his life since 1942... happiness DENIED!
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custom cars
Mirror-Finished Bugatti Veyron Blindingly Ushers in New Autostadt
Autostadt, the Volkswagen theme park surrounding the automaker's factory in Wolfsburg, Germany, reopened at the end of October with a stunning new centerpiece. The "Premium Clubhouse," showcasing Volkswagen's new multi-brand luxury division, features a flawless mirror-finished Bugatti Veyron situated in a similarly reflective pavilion. Disorientation and vertigo aside, the exhibit promises an unrivaled experience as the spectator's reflections become part of the artwork. Eat your heart out, Chromed McLaren SLR! We've got the press release below the jump and click here for a high-resolution image of this beauty.
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1981 BMW 315: 15,850 Deutsche Marks To Econo-Glory
We couldn't get the gas-sipping BMW 315 over here in Nordamerika; instead, we had to make do with the thirsty 320i version of the E21 platform. Over in Germany, however, the money saved on gas by the 315 facilitated drive-by Quaalude deals between wholesome-looking tennis players… or whatever the hell is going on in this ad. Key swapping? -
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Hang-Gliding German Swingers Prefer The Ford Capri!
When you're jumping off a cliff while strapped in your German-flag-colored hang glider and clad in the finest of polyester duds, you don't want your special lady to pick you up in some jive-ass tape-striped Opel. You want her to roar down the mountain in a high-performance Ford Capri! Thanks once again to Franzouse for the tip. -
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The 1982 Ford Granada Makes It Easy For The Germans To Steal France's Women
Now, you might think German men would be at a disadvantage when trying to score with the ladies in Paris, but she'll be saying "Ja, ja!" when Hans rolls into town in a brand-new Ford Granada. No, not this kind of Granada- we mean the European Granada; Ford thought the name was so good that they needed to assign it to two totally different vehicles. Paris-based Franzouse gets the credit for sharing this one with us; we can assume he's now heading to Berlin to see what kind of effect his Mehari will have on the women there. -
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Swingin' Opels Consume Germany's Entire Output Of Tape Stripes
Nobody swings quite as hard as German employees of General Motors- in fact, these Opel cats are wailing! Just take the early-70s Kadett, Manta, and Ascona, apply about 50 pounds of decals and stripes per car, and watch the cars fly off the showroom floors. Thanks to Franzouse for the tip! -
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Princess: Car Of Choice For Off-Roading Germans
You can forget everything you've heard about the utterly execrable build quality of British Leyland's nadir, the Princess. Turns out that front-wheel-drive setup, Hydragas suspension, and weight savings from all the parts that fell off during normal operation made for excellent off-road performance! -
ze germans
Top Ten Videos Of German Uber-Precise Car Manufacturing
Though we sarcastically joke about the self-proclaimed precision of German car makers, it turns out they actually have some pretty impressive facilities. The guys at Oobject took a closer look at the big, shiny factories of ze Germans, and came up with a top ten list of the most impressive videos of Deutschland's most futuristic-looking manufacturing centers in action. [oobject] -
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Opel GT: Choice Of Screaming German Hippies!
Not speaking German, we're probably more frightened by this ad that might be warranted. Perhaps the target market of the Opel GT wasn't really German-style Manson Families looking for some quick, sporty wheels with which to hunt victims in preparation for the final days of Hëltër Schkëltër. Maybe it was all about good, wholesome autobahn hijinks. Thanks to Franzouse for the tip! -
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PCH, Franco-Prussian War Rematch Edition: Citroen CX 2000 or Porsche 928?
In a stunning upset, the Borgward Hansa wagon handed Germany a one-sided victory over the Peugeot 304 in our most recent Choose Your Eternity poll. With France long reigning as the world's lone HyperGalactic PCH OmniPower, we would be remiss if we didn't give the French a shot at prying the oil-leaking, stripped-fastener-thread PCH CryptoChampion trophy from the Germans, in order to prove that the Borgward's victory wasn't just some one-shot fluke. That's why we're rolling out some Hell Project heavy artillery today, with a pair of undeniably cool- yet just as undeniably nightmarish- machines vying for long-term residency in your Garage Of Torture.
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